The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.
This response is estimated at Band 7.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The chart provides information about the families' expenditurefamilies expenditure of weekly income in a particular country in the years 1968 and 2018.
Overall, the largest proportion of expenditure went towards foodaccounted for food in 1968, while spending money on leisure was the most common expensehabit in 2018.
In 1968, food accounted for the largest share, exactly 35% of total weekly income. Housing accounted for a similar proportion toreported the similar proportion as clothing and footwear, precisely 10% of income. This was closely followed by leisure with nearly 8%. Personal and household goods had the same expenditure as transport, approximately 7%. The lowest percentageleast amount of money was spent on fuel and power, about 6% of the weekly income.
In 2018, leisure led with approximately 22%, which was closelyclosey followed by housing at about 19%. Expenditure on food and transport stood at approximatelywas at about 17% and 14% respectively. Money spent on household goods remained at a similar level to 1968reported a similar proportion as in 1968, roughly 7% of the weekly income. Clothing and footwear took up 5% of the total expenditureshare. FinallyLastly, people spent the smallest proportionspend the smallest figure on personal goodsand fuel and power,, and fuel and power , at approximately 4% eachapproximately 4% in total.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The summary effectively highlights key trends and supports the overview with accurate data from both years. Organization is well structured, allowing clear comparisons between the two time periods. To improve further, ensure minor grammatical agreement and tense consistency are refined alongside precise reporting of individual category values.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a clear overview and covers key categories across both years with largely accurate visual data.
Ensure phrasing for small data values clearly distinguishes between individual category figures and combined totals.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized into distinct paragraphs by year, using effective transition words to signal comparisons.
Incorporate additional comparative linkers between paragraphs to connect matching categories across time periods more seamlessly.
Lexical Resource
A good variety of reporting verbs and spending terminology is used appropriately throughout the response.
Proofread carefully to eliminate minor typos and improve word choices related to habits versus expenditure trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentence structures is used accurately with only rare grammatical slips.
Maintain consistent past tense forms and correct possessive punctuation when discussing historical data.