The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market.
Sample Response
The graphs describe the number of tourists from Japan who visited different countries and the proportion of Japanese visitors visiting Australia in one decade. As can be seen vividly, the number of tourists, both total and in percentage, visiting Australia increased significantly throughout the decade. Starting from 1985, the number of Japanese tourists tripled from 5 millions to mostly 15 millions in 1995. However, the static increase stopped from 1990 to 1991 with a slight fall by approximately 200,000 visitors. Apart from that, the improvement of travellers travelling to Australia occurs with a small decrease from 1998 to 1990. It is also unique that in 1989 and 1991 the percentage stood at the same level, 5% of the total. Furthermore, Japanese visitors to Australia reached a peak in 1994 as much as 6.2% of total tourists. In addition, from 1994 to 1995, the number of tourists reached a peak but the percentage of Japanese tourists travelling to Australia had a steady decrease.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Match the chart scope Original: visited different countries Suggested revision: travelled abroad Why it matters: The first chart records outbound travel without identifying destination countries.
- 2. State the period safely Original: in one decade Suggested revision: over the period shown Why it matters: The two charts cover slightly different end years.
- 3. Use singular million Original: millions Suggested revision: million Why it matters: A number directly before "million" takes the singular form.
- 4. Report the endpoint Original: mostly 15 millions Suggested revision: just over 15 million Why it matters: The 1995 bar is slightly above 15 million, and "mostly" is not a numerical approximation.
- 5. Use accurate trend wording Original: static increase Suggested revision: overall upward trend Why it matters: An increase cannot be static.
- 6. Describe the interruption Original: stopped from 1990 to 1991 Suggested revision: was interrupted between 1990 and 1991 Why it matters: The data show one temporary decline within the broader rise.
- 7. Fix the preposition Original: by Suggested revision: of Why it matters: The noun "fall" takes "of" before the amount.
- 8. Use natural emphasis Original: unique Suggested revision: noteworthy Why it matters: A data point can be noteworthy, while "unique" does not fit this observation.
- 9. Correct the years Original: in 1989 and 1991 Suggested revision: in 1988 and 1990 Why it matters: The Australian share is at the same approximate level in 1988 and 1990, not in 1989 and 1991.
- 10. Correct the value Original: 5% of the total Suggested revision: about 4.8% of the total Why it matters: Both matching points sit just below 5% on the chart.
- 11. Correct the peak year Original: 1994 Suggested revision: 1993 Why it matters: Australia's share peaks in 1993 and then falls slightly in 1994.
- 12. Use data preposition Original: as much as 6.2% Suggested revision: at about 6.2% Why it matters: Use "at" to introduce the level reached by a percentage.
Suggested Rewrites
- visited different countries travelled abroad
- in one decade over the period shown
- millions million
- mostly 15 millions just over 15 million
- static increase overall upward trend
- stopped from 1990 to 1991 was interrupted between 1990 and 1991
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies the broad upward trends and moves logically from total outbound travel to Australia’s share. However, several key figures and years are inaccurate: the share dipped from 1988 to 1989, peaked in 1993, and the second chart ends in 1994, while the total tourist figure is not the number visiting Australia. Prioritise checking each metric and date against its chart before reporting comparisons.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main upward trends are recognised, but multiple dates and values are inaccurate and the total number travelling abroad is sometimes confused with the number visiting Australia.
Distinguish the two measures clearly and report the 1988–89 dip, the 1993 peak in Australia's share, and the different end years accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses from the first graph to the second with generally clear links, but the entire response is one paragraph and some transitions are mechanical.
Use an introduction and overview followed by separate detail paragraphs for total outbound travel and Australia's market share.
Lexical Resource
The response has enough vocabulary to describe trends, but collocations such as “static increase,” “improvement of travellers,” and “as much as 6.2%” are often imprecise.
Use standard chart language such as “rose steadily,” “fell slightly,” “accounted for,” and “reached a peak of.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence forms conveys the comparisons clearly, although plural forms, tense consistency, and some awkward constructions remain noticeable.
Use past tense consistently for the historical data and correct countable expressions such as “five million tourists.”
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.