The chart and table below show the results of a survey of library users at a university.
This response is estimated at Band 6.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The pie chart and table illustrate the figures for the different categories of library users and their level of satisfaction with a number of services offered by the library.
Overall, the full-time undergraduate students outnumberedpercentage of full-time undergraduate students outnumbered all other categories, while academic staff accounted for the lowest proportionacademic staffs accounted for lowest. In terms of user feedback, a large majority of users were satisfiedSimilarly, a huge number of library users seemed happy with librarians' assistance whereas relatively fewwhereas, relatively a few users reported dissatisfaction with the availability of books.
The full-time undergraduates used the library the mostused library the most with the figure standing at 4445%, followed by full-time post-graduate and part-time post-graduate students which accounted for 25% and 16% respectively. In comparison, the figure for distance learning (all courses) and academic staff was lower with 8% and 7%8 and 7%.
It was reported that users were highly satisfied with helpfulness of library staffstaffs, standing at 95%. Similarly, 65% of them acknowledged the effectiveness of the library opening hours, while between 45% and 50% offrom the range of 45 - 50% library users expressed satisfaction with the availability of books, journals, and wi-fibooks and journal and wi-fi reliability. Inin contrast, 33% to 40% of users33-40% users were fairly satisfied with four categories except with a significantly lower percentagesignificantly fewer percentage for staffstaff's helpfulness. Most users were not satisfied with journal's availabilityavailibility at the library.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay clearly organizes the key trends and details from both the pie chart and the table into logical paragraphs. However, accuracy is compromised by inaccurate data readings, such as citing 45% instead of 44% and misreporting dissatisfaction rates. To elevate performance, ensure all data points match the visual prompt exactly and correct basic grammatical and punctuation errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report provides a clear overview and covers key categories, but it contains accurate data errors such as reporting 45% instead of 44% and claiming most users were dissatisfied with journal availability.
Double-check figures against the visual prompt to avoid inaccurate data points and misrepresentations of minority percentages.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically structured into distinct paragraphs for user categories and satisfaction ratings, though some transition words are used mechanically.
Vary your linking expressions and ensure cohesive devices flow naturally without repetitive paragraph openers.
Lexical Resource
A sufficient range of vocabulary is used to describe percentages and satisfaction levels, though minor word choice and spelling errors occur.
Refine word choices and spelling accuracy, particularly regarding terms like 'availability' and countable/uncountable forms like 'staff'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence structures is attempted, but frequent small errors in articles, punctuation, and subject-verb agreement are present.
Proofread carefully for missing articles, correct capitalization after full stops, and accurate plural agreement.