The chart and table below show the results of a survey of library users at a university.
Sample Response
The pie chart illustates the profile of library users, while table presents satisfaction of library premises.
According to the pie chart, full time undergraduates consitute the largest group of users, accounting for 44%, followed by full-time postgraduates at 25%. The lowest percentage was seen in the academic staff at just 7%.Part-time postgraduates occupied a middle position, accounting for 16% of the total library users.
Turning to the table, it is clear that the wast of majority of library users were highly satisfied with the helpfulness of the staff (95%). A moderate level of satisfaction was recorded for the availability of books, with 50% of users were very satisfied. On the other hand, availability of journals registered the highest proportion of dissatisfied users, standing at 20%. Reliability of wi-fi was deemed the least satisfactory suspect, with nearly a fifth (19%) of those surveyed expressing dissatisfaction.
Overall, it is clear that full-time undergraduate consituted the vast majority of the library visitors, while academic staff made up the smallest share.Additionally, helpfulness of staff received the highest satisfaction ratings, whereas availability of books was deemed the least satisfactory aspect.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Spelling error Original: illustates Suggested revision: illustrates Why it matters: The word 'illustrates' is misspelled.
- 2. Missing article Original: while table Suggested revision: while the table Why it matters: The definite article 'the' is required before the singular noun 'table'.
- 3. Inaccurate vocabulary Original: satisfaction of library premises Suggested revision: satisfaction with library services Why it matters: The table measures satisfaction with services like Wi-Fi and helpfulness of staff, not physical premises.
- 4. Spelling error Original: consituted Suggested revision: constituted Why it matters: The word 'constituted' is misspelled.
- 5. Missing space Original: 7%.Part-time Suggested revision: 7%. Part-time Why it matters: A space is required after a period to separate sentences.
- 6. Incorrect idiom Original: wast of majority Suggested revision: vast majority Why it matters: The correct idiomatic expression is 'vast majority', not 'wast of majority'.
- 7. Grammar error Original: with 50% of users were very satisfied Suggested revision: with 50% of users being very satisfied Why it matters: Using 'with' followed by a subject and a finite verb is ungrammatical; use a participle clause instead.
- 8. Missing article Original: availability of journals Suggested revision: the availability of journals Why it matters: Adding the definite article 'the' improves grammatical accuracy.
- 9. Incorrect word choice Original: least satisfactory suspect Suggested revision: least satisfactory aspect Why it matters: The word 'suspect' is incorrect in this context; 'aspect' or 'feature' should be used.
- 10. Noun number error Original: full-time undergraduate Suggested revision: full-time undergraduates Why it matters: The plural form 'undergraduates' is needed to match the plural verb 'constituted'.
- 11. Missing space Original: share.Additionally Suggested revision: share. Additionally Why it matters: A space is required after a period to separate sentences.
- 12. Missing article Original: helpfulness of staff Suggested revision: the helpfulness of staff Why it matters: Adding the definite article 'the' makes the noun phrase grammatically complete.
Suggested Rewrites
- illustates illustrates
- while table while the table
- satisfaction of library premises satisfaction with library services
- consituted constituted
- 7%.Part-time 7%. Part-time
- wast of majority vast majority
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response successfully identifies the main trends and presents a clear structure, but it is held back by the omission of one user category and an inaccurate comparison in the overview. Improving data accuracy and refining word choice will help elevate the overall quality. Addressing minor grammatical slips and spelling errors should be the primary focus for improvement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response outlines key figures from both visuals but completely omits the 'Distance learning' category from the pie chart and incorrectly identifies the availability of books as the least satisfactory aspect in the overview.
Ensure all categories from the visual prompt are mentioned and double-check that comparative statements in the overview match the data exactly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs with a functional progression of ideas and appropriate transition signals.
Vary cohesive devices further to avoid repetitive structures when transitioning between different data points.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but spelling mistakes like 'illustates' and 'wast', alongside word choice errors such as 'suspect' instead of 'aspect', limit the score.
Carefully proofread the essay to eliminate spelling slips and ensure precise word choices when describing data trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences is used, but errors in article usage and prepositional structures, such as 'with 50% of users were very satisfied', occur.
Practice using absolute constructions correctly, such as changing 'with 50% of users were very satisfied' to 'with 50% of users being very satisfied'.