For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. Write a letter to the club secretary. In your letter: - state what type of membership you have and how you have paid for this - give details on how you have benefited from the club - explain why you want to leave
Sample Response
Dear Mr Brooke, I regret to inform you that I have to discontinue my level 2 membership at your Golden Hook Fishing Club. I joined the Club a year ago and the benefits of the participation well exceeded the membership fee. I am hoping that you would help me finish the official procedure to cancel my membership. I received numerous benefits from the club as a level 2 member. The roundtables and lectures of famous fishermen were absolutely brilliant. Moreover, discounts on the equipment in sports gear shops was a money saver. Last but not least, your monthly illustrated magazine was a precious treat for me. Unfortunately, I have to move to France next month because of my father's health condition. I must acknowledge that continuing the membership of your Club is no longer an option for me as I will be leaving London soon. I have paid my monthly fee using my credit card and its details could be found in your database. I request you not to charge me any membership fee for the next month. I am ready to fill in the membership cancellation form at your office next Monday. I wish every success of this club and its members. Yours sincerely, John Philip
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: the benefits of the participation Suggested revision: the benefits of participating Why it matters: The gerund form expresses the activity more naturally than the noun phrase used here.
- 2. Choose precise wording Original: finish the official procedure Suggested revision: complete the formal process Why it matters: This collocation is more natural for cancelling a membership.
- 3. Correct the preposition Original: of Suggested revision: by Why it matters: Use “by” to identify the people who give the lectures.
- 4. Remove unnecessary article Original: the equipment Suggested revision: equipment Why it matters: “Equipment” is used uncountably when referring to sports gear in general.
- 5. Clarify the reference Original: its details Suggested revision: my card details Why it matters: Naming the card directly avoids an unclear pronoun reference.
- 6. Use concise timing Original: for the next month Suggested revision: next month Why it matters: The preposition and article are unnecessary with this time expression.
- 7. Sentence rewrite Original: Moreover, discounts on the equipment in sports gear shops was a money saver. Suggested revision: Moreover, the discounts on equipment at sports-gear shops saved me money. Why it matters: The rewrite fixes subject–verb disagreement and replaces the awkward singular complement.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: I wish every success of this club and its members. Suggested revision: I wish the club and its members every success. Why it matters: The verb “wish” requires the recipients before the thing wished for in this structure.
- 9. Separate the letter sections Suggested revision: Divide the body into short paragraphs for the cancellation request, membership benefits, reason for leaving, and payment arrangements. Why it matters: Clear paragraphing would make the response easier for the club secretary to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- the benefits of the participation the benefits of participating
- finish the official procedure complete the formal process
- of by
- the equipment equipment
- its details my card details
- for the next month next month
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter communicates its purpose clearly, covers every requested point with specific benefits and an appropriate explanation for leaving, and maintains a suitably formal tone. Its main limitation is that the entire response forms one dense paragraph, while a few awkward collocations and agreement errors reduce polish; the highest-priority improvement is to organise the content into clear functional paragraphs and proofread grammatical agreement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The purpose is immediately clear, all three bullet points are fully covered, and the formal register is consistently suitable.
Make the payment and cancellation arrangements slightly more concise so the requested information remains the central focus.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from the cancellation request through benefits and the reason for leaving, but the single-block format weakens paragraphing.
Separate the opening, membership benefits, reason for leaving, and practical cancellation request into distinct functional paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The letter uses a good range of generally precise vocabulary, although phrases such as "benefits of the participation" and "precious treat" are somewhat unnatural.
Choose more idiomatic formal collocations, such as "the benefits of membership" and "a valuable benefit," to improve precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied mix of simple and complex sentences is mostly well controlled, with occasional errors that do not impede meaning.
Proofread subject-verb agreement and article use, particularly in phrases such as "discounts ... were a money saver."
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. Write a letter to the club secretary. In your letter:
- state what type of membership you have and how you have paid for this
- give details on how you have benefited from the club
- explain why you want to leave
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.