For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. Write a letter to the club secretary. In your letter: - state what type of membership you have and how you have paid for this - give details on how you have benefited from the club - explain why you want to leave
Sample Response
Dear Mrs Watson, I am a full-time Gold member of your club 'Fitness Shield'. My membership started a year ago, on 5th August 2024, and it is valid for another six months. I have paid all my dues including the security deposit of $250 using my savings account with City Bank. Now I would request you to cancel my membership and refund me the amount after deduction of the next three months' fees. Not to mention, your well-equipped club has offered me enormous benefits so far. The wide range of sports and fitness activities has helped me regain my lean body shape again. The instructors were very professional and with their help, I have found a perfect and healthy diet. The outdoor activities were phenomenal and the lawn tennis coach taught me how to play one of my favourite sports. It is a regret that I am bound to cancel my club membership from 1st December. I have recently been transferred to Edinburgh and I am left with no choice but to move there at the end of November. I would, therefore, request you to cancel my membership and refund my security deposit and any fee left after the deduction. Kindly deposit it to the bank account number 1123456, Barclays Bank, Oxford Street, London. Thanks for such a great club and I wish every success of it. Yours sincerely,
Emma Fiona
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct membership term Original: full-time Gold member Suggested revision: Gold member Why it matters: Full-time describes employment or study rather than a club membership category.
- 2. Use logical transition Original: Not to mention Suggested revision: Over the past year Why it matters: The original connector implies an addition to an unstated point and does not introduce the benefits logically.
- 3. Remove redundant wording Original: regain my lean body shape again Suggested revision: get back into shape Why it matters: Regain and again repeat the same meaning, while lean body shape is awkward.
- 4. Improve diet collocation Original: found a perfect and healthy diet Suggested revision: adopted a suitable, healthy diet Why it matters: People adopt or follow a diet rather than find one in this context.
- 5. Use verb form Original: It is a regret Suggested revision: I regret Why it matters: The verb regret is the natural grammatical form for expressing the writer's feeling.
- 6. Clarify refundable balance Original: any fee left after the deduction Suggested revision: any remaining balance after the deduction Why it matters: The original phrase treats fee as a refundable amount and leaves the requested balance unclear.
- 7. Correct bank preposition Original: to Suggested revision: into Why it matters: Money is deposited into a bank account.
- 8. Use formal closing tone Original: Thanks for such a great club Suggested revision: Thank you for your excellent service Why it matters: The revision keeps the appreciation while making the closing more suitable for the club secretary.
- 9. Correct wish structure Original: every success of it Suggested revision: the club every success Why it matters: The correct structure is wish someone or something every success.
- 10. Remove repeated timing Original: a year ago, on 5th August 2024 Suggested revision: on 5 August 2024 Why it matters: The exact date already establishes that the membership began a year ago.
- 11. Set off the example Original: all my dues including Suggested revision: all my dues, including Why it matters: The comma clearly marks the following security deposit as an included item.
- 12. Use concise payment phrasing Original: using Suggested revision: from Why it matters: The revised phrase states the source of payment more naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- full-time Gold member Gold member
- Not to mention Over the past year
- regain my lean body shape again get back into shape
- found a perfect and healthy diet adopted a suitable, healthy diet
- It is a regret I regret
- any fee left after the deduction any remaining balance after the deduction
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter gives detailed coverage of the membership, payment, benefits, and reason for leaving, and its courteous tone suits communication with the club secretary. Its effectiveness is reduced by the single-block structure and several unnatural or repetitive phrases, while the refund request could also be expressed more clearly. The best improvement would be to organise each required point into its own paragraph and state the requested refund terms precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose and all required points are developed in detail, though the two descriptions of the fee deduction make the requested refund slightly unclear.
State once, in exact terms, which fees may be deducted and what remaining amount should be refunded.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas move logically through membership details, benefits, and the reason for leaving, but the body lacks paragraph breaks and some linking is forced.
Give each bullet point a separate paragraph and replace formulaic links such as 'Not to mention' with smoother progression.
Lexical Resource
The writer demonstrates a broad topic-appropriate vocabulary, although several combinations such as 'regain my lean body shape again' and 'found a perfect and healthy diet' are awkward.
Prefer precise natural collocations, for example 'regain my fitness,' 'adopt a healthy diet,' and 'credit the refund to my account.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are generally well controlled, and the remaining errors rarely interfere with meaning.
Refine article and preposition choices and keep time references consistent when describing past and continuing benefits.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. Write a letter to the club secretary. In your letter:
- state what type of membership you have and how you have paid for this
- give details on how you have benefited from the club
- explain why you want to leave
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.