For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. Write a letter to the club secretary. In your letter: - state what type of membership you have and how you have paid for this - give details on how you have benefited from the club - explain why you want to leave
Same question Compare 4 different answersSample Response
Dear Mr Robinson, I have been a member of your fitness and wellness club for the last year. I have been immensely benefitted from my membership but unfortunately, I can’t continue it because of my broken legs. I am hoping that you would allow me to cancel my membership effective from next month. I joined the club in September 2021 and I enjoy the gold membership which charges me $45 per month. With my membership, I am allowed to use the gym, yoga classes, and physicians' advice. I have paid all of the membership fees in time using my Visa Card and I really am satisfied with the benefits the club offers to its members. Unfortunately last week, towards the end of my work, I slipped and fell on a wet floor and broke my leg. It was a severe accident and the doctors did surgery on my leg. According to the doctor's advice, I should not take part in any form of exercise until I fully recover. Considering the situation, I cannot continue my membership at your club for at least 4-5 months. So, please cancel my membership and I hope to return to your club once I feel fit for that. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, Milad Rahimi
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix benefit construction Original: immensely benefitted Suggested revision: benefited greatly Why it matters: Benefit is used actively here, and greatly is the natural adverbial modifier.
- 2. Place commas correctly Original: membership but unfortunately, Suggested revision: membership, but unfortunately Why it matters: A comma should precede but between independent clauses, while no comma is needed after unfortunately here.
- 3. Keep number consistent Original: my broken legs Suggested revision: a broken leg Why it matters: The response later states that only one leg was broken and operated on.
- 4. Use consistent modality Original: I am hoping that you would allow me Suggested revision: I hope you will allow me Why it matters: Will expresses the present request consistently, whereas would is mismatched after I am hoping.
- 5. Use membership collocation Original: I enjoy the gold membership Suggested revision: I have a gold membership Why it matters: Have is the natural verb for stating the type of membership held.
- 6. Describe the cost Original: which charges me Suggested revision: which costs Why it matters: A membership has a cost rather than acting as an entity that charges its holder.
- 7. Clarify fee ownership Original: all of the membership fees Suggested revision: all my membership fees Why it matters: The possessive determiner makes clear that these are the writer's fees.
- 8. Use payment phrase Original: in Suggested revision: on Why it matters: On time means by the required deadline, while in time has a different meaning.
- 9. Fix capitalization Original: Card Suggested revision: card Why it matters: Card is a common noun and should not be capitalized here.
- 10. Set off the adverb Original: Unfortunately last week, Suggested revision: Unfortunately, last week, Why it matters: The introductory sentence adverb unfortunately should be followed by a comma.
- 11. Clarify the time Original: towards the end of my work Suggested revision: near the end of my workday Why it matters: End of my work could imply the completion of a job rather than the end of that day's shift.
- 12. Use surgery collocation Original: did Suggested revision: performed Why it matters: Doctors perform surgery rather than do surgery in formal English.
Suggested Rewrites
- immensely benefitted benefited greatly
- membership but unfortunately, membership, but unfortunately
- my broken legs a broken leg
- I am hoping that you would allow me I hope you will allow me
- I enjoy the gold membership I have a gold membership
- which charges me which costs
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter communicates its purpose clearly and develops every required point with specific membership, payment, benefit, and medical details. Its main limitation is language control: several awkward collocations and the absence of paragraph breaks make an otherwise logical response feel less polished. The highest priority is to divide the letter into functional paragraphs and replace unnatural phrases with standard, precise expressions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are fully addressed with clear and relevant supporting details, and the request to cancel is appropriately direct.
Keep the medical explanation internally consistent by referring to either one broken leg or multiple injuries throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a sensible sequence from membership details to benefits, injury, and cancellation, but the lack of paragraphing weakens the letter's structure.
Use separate paragraphs for the purpose, membership and benefits, reason for leaving, and final request.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a sufficient range for the situation, but several collocations are awkward, including "immensely benefitted," "charges me," and "did surgery."
Use natural combinations such as "benefited immensely," "costs $45 per month," and "performed surgery."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of simple and complex sentences is used with generally good control, despite a few word-form and punctuation errors.
Correct the passive form in "have been immensely benefitted" and proofread introductory adverbials for missing commas.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. Write a letter to the club secretary. In your letter:
- state what type of membership you have and how you have paid for this
- give details on how you have benefited from the club
- explain why you want to leave
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.