For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. Write a letter to the club secretary. In your letter: - state what type of membership you have and how you have paid for this - give details on how you have benefited from the club - explain why you want to leave

Same question Compare 9 different answers (Band 7–7.5)

Sample Response

Dear Mrs Watson, I am a full-time Gold member of your club 'Fitness Shield'. My membership started a year ago, on 5th August 2024, and it is valid for another six months. I have paid all my dues including the security deposit of $250 using my savings account with City Bank. Now I would request you to cancel my membership and refund me the amount after deduction of the next three months' fees. Not to mention, your well-equipped club has offered me enormous benefits so far. The wide range of sports and fitness activities has helped me regain my lean body shape again. The instructors were very professional and with their help, I have found a perfect and healthy diet. The outdoor activities were phenomenal and the lawn tennis coach taught me how to play one of my favourite sports. It is a regret that I am bound to cancel my club membership from 1st December. I have recently been transferred to Edinburgh and I am left with no choice but to move there at the end of November. I would, therefore, request you to cancel my membership and refund my security deposit and any fee left after the deduction. Kindly deposit it to the bank account number 1123456, Barclays Bank, Oxford Street, London. Thanks for such a great club and I wish every success of it. Yours sincerely,

Emma Fiona

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Clarify refund request Original: refund me the amount after deduction of the next three months' fees Suggested revision: refund the remaining amount after deducting the next three months' fees Why it matters: The revision states clearly that the fees should be deducted before the balance is refunded.
  • 2. Use formal transition Original: Not to mention, your well-equipped club Suggested revision: In addition, your well-equipped club Why it matters: 'Not to mention' is conversational and does not logically introduce the main discussion of benefits.
  • 3. Remove redundant wording Original: regain my lean body shape again Suggested revision: regain my lean physique Why it matters: 'Regain' already means to acquire again, so the final 'again' is redundant.
  • 4. Use diet collocation Original: found a perfect and healthy diet Suggested revision: adopted a suitable, healthy diet Why it matters: People adopt or follow a diet rather than find one, and 'suitable' is more credible than 'perfect'.
  • 5. Use personal regret form Original: It is a regret that Suggested revision: I regret that Why it matters: The natural construction uses 'regret' as a verb with the writer as its subject.
  • 6. State necessity naturally Original: bound Suggested revision: required Why it matters: 'Required to' expresses the necessity more appropriately in this formal request.
  • 7. Name refundable balance Original: any fee left after the deduction Suggested revision: any remaining balance after the deductions Why it matters: The refundable money is a balance, while 'fee left' is imprecise.
  • 8. Fix deposit preposition Original: to Suggested revision: into Why it matters: Money is deposited 'into' an account.
  • 9. Fix wish construction Original: I wish every success of it Suggested revision: I wish the club every success Why it matters: The verb pattern is 'wish someone every success', without 'of'.
  • 10. Clarify payment channel Original: using my savings account with City Bank Suggested revision: through my City Bank savings account Why it matters: The revision states more naturally how the membership payments were funded.
  • 11. Use polite request form Original: Now I would request you Suggested revision: I would now like to ask you Why it matters: The revised construction is more natural and appropriately polite for a formal request.
  • 12. Moderate the description Original: enormous Suggested revision: considerable Why it matters: 'Considerable' conveys substantial value in a more measured formal register.

Suggested Rewrites

  • refund me the amount after deduction of the next three months' fees refund the remaining amount after deducting the next three months' fees
  • Not to mention, your well-equipped club In addition, your well-equipped club
  • regain my lean body shape again regain my lean physique
  • found a perfect and healthy diet adopted a suitable, healthy diet
  • It is a regret that I regret that
  • bound required
Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.5

The letter covers the membership type, payment details, club benefits, and relocation reason thoroughly, while making the cancellation date and refund request clear. Its strongest feature is the specific, courteous explanation of benefits received; the main limitation is repetition and a few unnatural expressions around refunds, fitness, and the closing. Prioritise a concise cancellation request with exact refund terms and polished formal phrasing.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

8.0
Scoring rule

All required points are fully developed with clear dates, payment information, specific benefits, and a convincing reason for leaving, alongside an appropriate administrative request.

Next step

State the requested refund calculation once and clarify exactly which prepaid fees should be returned after cancellation.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.5
Scoring rule

The message progresses clearly through membership details, benefits, reason for departure, refund instructions, and closing, though cancellation and refund requests are repeated.

Next step

Group the administrative details into one concise opening paragraph and reserve the final paragraph for the relocation reason and requested action.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Scoring rule

The response uses a good range of membership, fitness, and administrative vocabulary, but some expressions are redundant or unnatural.

Next step

Use concise phrases such as 'regain fitness,' 'received dietary guidance,' 'remaining prepaid fees,' and 'wish the club continued success.'

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0
Scoring rule

A variety of structures communicates the details accurately, with occasional article, preposition, tense, and reference issues that do not impede meaning.

Next step

Check prepositions in refund instructions and maintain consistent tense when describing benefits received during the membership.

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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1

For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. Write a letter to the club secretary. In your letter:

- state what type of membership you have and how you have paid for this

- give details on how you have benefited from the club

- explain why you want to leave

Your response

Words0
20:00

Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.