You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In your letter: - describe the situation - explain your problems and why it is difficult to work - say what kind of accommodation you would prefer
This response is estimated at Band 6.5. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,Dear Sir
I am writing this letter to express my concern regarding the difficulties ofexpress my difficulties sharing my room with another college student. Firstly, it is extremely difficult to focus while they keep having parties at night a lot of noisewith loud noises. As I major in medicine, I require a lot of quiet study time; however,time, however, the student that I share my Deleteroom with, is a frequent socialiserparty person and does not seem focused ondoes not seem to be having a focus on achieving good grades. Secondly, they have the habithabits of stealing my groceries from the shared fridge which is further a problem as they always deny itthey always denied whenever I confronted them. I would kindly suggest that you looksuggest you looking into this issue as it has caused a great deal of difficulties in my life. I would prefer to have my roommate reassigned to another roomhave them removed from the room. Alternatively,In other case, I would love to move outto be moving out to new accommodationa new accommodation myself. I would love to hear back from you.
Kind regards,
Vincent
Why this response received Band 6.5
The letter effectively communicates the issue by addressing all three prompt requirements with clear and relevant supporting details. However, the response relies on a single dense body paragraph and contains recurring grammatical and phrasing inaccuracies. To improve, structure the body into logical paragraphs and focus on refining complex sentence grammar.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose of the letter is clear and all three bullet points are covered with appropriate details and a suitable formal tone.
Provide slightly more specific detail regarding your preferred alternative accommodation to strengthen the final prompt requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is presented in a logical sequence with simple linking words, though combining all main points into one block paragraph weakens overall organisation.
Separate the letter into distinct paragraphs for each bullet point to make the layout clearer to the reader.
Lexical Resource
An adequate vocabulary range is used to explain the situation, though some minor word choices and collocations are slightly imprecise.
Focus on accurate phrasing in common expressions, replacing awkward constructions such as 'have the habits of' with more natural phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, but grammatical inaccuracies occur frequently enough to be noticeable.
Review verb patterns and prepositions, paying specific attention to structures following verbs like 'suggest' and modal verb forms.