You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In your letter: - describe the situation - explain your problems and why it is difficult to work - say what kind of accommodation you would prefer
This response is estimated at Band 7.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing this letter to express my difficulties regarding sharingexpress my difficulties sharing a room with another college student. Firstly, it is extremely difficult to focus while they keep having parties at night. As I major in medicine, I require a lot of quiet study time; however, my roommate is a frequent socialiser who does not seem to have a focus on achieving good grades.
Secondly, they have the habithabits of taking my groceries from the shared fridge, which is made worse byfrom their persistent denial. I would kindly suggest that you look intosuggest you looking into this issue as it has caused a great deal of difficulties in my life.
I would prefer to have my roommate relocatedhave them removed from the room. Alternatively, I would love to move outbe moving out to a single bedroom accommodation myself. In addition, I would prefer a room on a higher floorprefer the new room on a higher level compared to my old room as I suppose that would eliminate the noisenoises.
I would love to hear back from you.
Kind regards,
Vincent
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter clearly addresses all prompt requirements with an appropriate formal tone and effective logical organization throughout. Its main strength is the clear development of specific personal circumstances and logical requests for new accommodation. However, minor grammatical errors and slightly awkward verb patterns prevent higher precision. To improve, focus on refining complex verb structures and prepositional phrases.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are well covered with relevant supporting details and a consistently appropriate formal register.
Provide slightly more realistic and constructive solutions regarding room reassignment to enhance practical depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter is logically structured into clear paragraphs using appropriate cohesive devices to sequence main ideas.
Vary transitional phrases beyond simple listing signals like 'firstly' and 'secondly' for smoother logical flow.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied and appropriate for the context, showing good control over topic-specific words.
Focus on natural word partnerships to avoid minor awkward expressions like 'frequent socialiser'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence structures is used, though occasional errors in verb patterns remain noticeable.
Practice correct gerund and infinitive structures, particularly following verbs like 'suggest' and 'prefer'.