You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In your letter: - describe the situation - explain your problems and why it is difficult to work - say what kind of accommodation you would prefer
This response is estimated at Band 8.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing this letter to raise my concerns regarding sharing a room with another college student. My room number is 505, located on level five of the East Apartment. Firstly, it is extremely difficult to focus because my roommate frequently hashave late-nightlate night parties. As I major in medicine, I require a lot of quiet study time; however, my roommate is a frequent partygoersocialiser who does not seem to have an interest in achieving good grades.
Secondly, they has a habit of takinghave the habit of taking my groceries from the shared fridge, which is made worse by their persistent denial. I would kindly suggest that you looksuggest that you to look into this issue as it has caused a great deal of distress in my life.
I would prefer to have my roommate relocated to another room. Alternatively, I would be willing to move out to a singlesingle-bedroom accommodation myself. In addition, I would prefer a room on a higher floor than my current one as I suppose that would eliminate the noise.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours faithfully,Kind regards,
Vincent
Why this response received Band 8.0
The letter effectively addresses all prompt requirements with a clear, professional tone and logically developed paragraphs. Its key strength lies in the precise explanation of the issues and clear requests for alternative living arrangements. The primary limitation is occasional minor grammatical inaccuracies that slightly disrupt structural accuracy. To reach an even higher performance, focus on refining subject-verb agreement and complex verb pattern structures during final proofreading.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The letter successfully covers all prompt points with a consistently appropriate tone and well-developed details.
Maintain this clear task coverage while ensuring all supporting details directly support the main purpose of the request.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is logical and cohesive devices are used smoothly to connect thoughts throughout the letter.
Continue using clear transition markers between paragraphs to maintain effortless readability.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, natural, and precise, effectively communicating specific complaints and preferences.
Continue expanding your range of topic-specific collocations to enhance natural expression even further.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentences display a good mix of complex structures, though a few minor grammatical errors are present.
Proofread carefully for subject-verb agreement and correct infinitive structures following verbs of suggestion.