Write a letter to the Mayor, the head of a municipal government, about a situation in which some adolescents let their dogs run wildly. In your letter: - describe how the adolescents let their dogs run wild - explain why this creates a dangerous situation - complain about the situation
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to complain about a severe condition in my neighbourhood created by some teenagers who make the life of ordinary citizens difficult especially by letting their dangerous dogs roam freely in the streets. I have been residing in this town for the last five years. It was a peaceful locality up until recently. The situation deteriorated, perhaps because some new families settled in here lately who have teenage children who they have no control over. These youngsters all have untrained bulldogs who accompany them all the time. The cause of concern is that they often let the dogs go free and run behind them as if they are competing. This creates fear and terror among other well-disposed residents. On the contrary, they misbehave with the elderly and use offensive words in the open streets. In this worrisome and tense situation, I would expect you to take proper actions to restore the peacefulness in the neighbourhood. This would be a sigh of relief for all residents. I sincerely hope that you would take immediate actions against all those involved in creating havoc in this peaceful community. Yours faithfully, Mubashir Noorani
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use accurate wording Original: a severe condition Suggested revision: a serious problem Why it matters: 'Problem' is the natural noun for a neighbourhood complaint, whereas 'condition' is inaccurate here.
- 2. Correct plural possession Original: make the life of ordinary citizens difficult Suggested revision: make ordinary citizens' lives difficult Why it matters: The plural possessive form is needed because the statement concerns multiple citizens and their lives.
- 3. Correct fixed phrase Original: The cause of concern Suggested revision: The main cause for concern Why it matters: The fixed expression is 'cause for concern'.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: let the dogs go free Suggested revision: let the dogs run free Why it matters: 'Run free' is the natural collocation for allowing dogs to roam without control.
- 5. Clarify the action Original: run behind them Suggested revision: chase after them Why it matters: 'Chase after' makes the teenagers' action in relation to the dogs clearer.
- 6. Avoid redundant wording Original: fear and terror Suggested revision: fear Why it matters: The two nouns repeat the same idea, so one is sufficient.
- 7. Choose the right adjective Original: well-disposed residents Suggested revision: local residents Why it matters: 'Well-disposed' means friendly or favourably inclined and does not identify the affected residents appropriately.
- 8. Use additive connector Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: Moreover Why it matters: The next point adds another complaint rather than contradicting the preceding statement.
- 9. Correct verb pattern Original: misbehave with the elderly Suggested revision: behave badly towards elderly people Why it matters: 'Misbehave with' is not a natural pattern for describing conduct towards people.
- 10. Use natural expression Original: in the open streets Suggested revision: in public Why it matters: 'In public' is the idiomatic way to say that the offensive language is used openly.
- 11. Use concise wording Original: In this worrisome and tense situation Suggested revision: Given this worrying situation Why it matters: The revision expresses the same context more naturally and without redundant description.
- 12. Use uncountable action Original: take proper actions Suggested revision: take appropriate action Why it matters: 'Action' is normally uncountable when referring generally to official measures.
Suggested Rewrites
- a severe condition a serious problem
- make the life of ordinary citizens difficult make ordinary citizens' lives difficult
- The cause of concern The main cause for concern
- let the dogs go free let the dogs run free
- run behind them chase after them
- fear and terror fear
Why this response received Band 7.0
The complaint has a clear formal purpose, describes the dogs being released, and requests prompt municipal action in an appropriately serious tone. The main limitation is that the actual danger is asserted mainly through fear and terror rather than supported with a specific risk or incident; awkward linking and collocations also reduce precision. Add concrete consequences of the dogs' behaviour and organise the description, danger, and requested remedy into distinct paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The letter clearly complains, describes the dogs running free, and asks the mayor to act, but the danger to residents is not developed with a concrete example.
Explain a specific risk, such as a dog chasing a child, causing a fall, or threatening a pedestrian, to substantiate the danger.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves broadly from background to the problem and requested action, but the single dense paragraph and the illogical linker 'On the contrary' weaken cohesion.
Group the background, dangerous behaviour, and requested action into separate paragraphs and use a suitable additive linker such as 'Moreover.'
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary shows reasonable range and suits a formal complaint, but recurring awkward collocations include 'severe condition,' 'well-disposed residents,' 'proper actions,' and 'restore the peacefulness.'
Use more natural formal combinations such as 'serious problem,' 'local residents,' 'appropriate action,' and 'restore peace.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is generally controlled and meaning remains clear, despite occasional article, agreement, and relative-clause errors.
Correct structures such as 'families settled in here lately who have teenage children who they have no control over' by clarifying the relative clauses and pronouns.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
Write a letter to the Mayor, the head of a municipal government, about a situation in which some adolescents let their dogs run wildly. In your letter:
- describe how the adolescents let their dogs run wild
- explain why this creates a dangerous situation
- complain about the situation
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.