Write a letter to the Mayor, the head of a municipal government, about a situation in which some adolescents let their dogs run wildly. In your letter: - describe how the adolescents let their dogs run wild - explain why this creates a dangerous situation - complain about the situation
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter in order to bring your attention to an important issue which our neighbourhood is currently facing. For quite some time, we have been noticing with great concern that some young boys of about 12 to 15 years of age from our area are allowing their dogs to run wildly in our neighbourhood. Initially, it was not a matter of big concern, but slowly and slowly, this is becoming dangerous as the dogs are frequently coming into contact with the community members, which is not safe. In fact, the situation has become so dangerous and scary for some of our good neighbours that they are even afraid to come out of their homes sometimes because of these freely-roaming dogs. Some of the members of our community have already talked to the parents of these boys, but, unfortunately, the situation has not exactly changed much in our favour. In view of this dangerous situation, which is prevailing in our neighbourhood, I would like you to please take some necessary steps to bring these adolescent boys and their dogs under control before some serious accidents take place. Yours faithfully, Jon Garson
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix collocation Original: bring Suggested revision: draw Why it matters: “Draw your attention to” is the standard formal collocation.
- 2. Make wording concise Original: young boys of about 12 to 15 years of age Suggested revision: boys aged about 12 to 15 Why it matters: This expresses the same age range more concisely.
- 3. Use precise phrase Original: wildly Suggested revision: loose Why it matters: “Run loose” clearly means that the dogs are uncontrolled, whereas “wildly” describes their manner of running.
- 4. Fix collocation Original: big Suggested revision: great Why it matters: “A matter of great concern” is the natural formal expression.
- 5. Replace incorrect phrase Original: slowly and slowly Suggested revision: gradually Why it matters: The repeated phrase is nonstandard; “gradually” conveys the intended progression.
- 6. Remove subjective adjective Original: good neighbours Suggested revision: neighbours Why it matters: “Good” is unnecessary and weakens the objective tone of the complaint.
- 7. Fix compound adjective Original: freely Suggested revision: free Why it matters: The established compound adjective before a noun is “free-roaming.”
- 8. State outcome clearly Original: not exactly changed much in our favour Suggested revision: not improved Why it matters: The replacement expresses the unchanged problem directly and naturally.
- 9. Make opening concise Original: I am writing this letter in order to Suggested revision: I am writing to Why it matters: The shorter phrase is more direct and equally formal.
- 10. Use direct wording Original: an important issue which our neighbourhood is currently facing Suggested revision: an important issue currently affecting our neighbourhood Why it matters: The revision expresses the impact on the neighbourhood more directly.
- 11. Remove vague intensifier Original: For quite some time Suggested revision: For some time Why it matters: “Quite” adds little precision to this time reference.
- 12. Use natural aspect Original: we have been noticing with great concern Suggested revision: we have noticed with great concern Why it matters: The simple present perfect is more natural for the residents' observation over this period.
Suggested Rewrites
- bring draw
- young boys of about 12 to 15 years of age boys aged about 12 to 15
- wildly loose
- big great
- slowly and slowly gradually
- good neighbours neighbours
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter establishes a clear formal complaint, explains that the dogs roam freely, and conveys residents' fear and the need for municipal action. Its main limitation is that the danger is described repetitively and rather generally, while the entire response remains in one paragraph. Prioritise specific consequences and a clearer paragraph structure to make the request more persuasive.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response covers all three bullet points in a suitable formal tone, with a clear complaint and a direct request for action.
Develop the danger with one or two concrete risks, such as attacks, traffic incidents, or harm to children, rather than repeating that it is unsafe.
Coherence and Cohesion
The complaint develops in a logical sequence, but one-paragraph presentation and repeated references to danger weaken the organisation.
Separate the description, consequences, previous attempts to resolve the problem, and requested action into distinct paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficiently varied and appropriate for a formal complaint, though repetition and several unnatural phrases reduce precision.
Replace expressions such as 'slowly and slowly', 'good neighbours', and 'changed much in our favour' with concise natural alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentences is handled accurately enough for clear communication, with only minor punctuation and phrasing lapses.
Streamline heavily modified sentences and remove unnecessary commas so the complaint reads more directly.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
Write a letter to the Mayor, the head of a municipal government, about a situation in which some adolescents let their dogs run wildly. In your letter:
- describe how the adolescents let their dogs run wild
- explain why this creates a dangerous situation
- complain about the situation
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.