Write a letter to the Mayor, the head of a municipal government, about a situation in which some adolescents let their dogs run wildly. In your letter: - describe how the adolescents let their dogs run wild - explain why this creates a dangerous situation - complain about the situation
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter in order to bring your attention to an important issue which our neighbourhood is currently facing. For quite some time, we have been noticing with great concern that some young boys of about 12 to 15 years of age from our area are allowing their dogs to run wildly in our neighbourhood. Initially, it was not a matter of big concern, but slowly and slowly, this is becoming dangerous as the dogs are frequently coming into contact with the community members, which is not safe. In fact, the situation has become so dangerous and scary for some of our good neighbours that they are even afraid to come out of their homes sometimes because of these freely-roaming dogs. Some of the members of our community have already talked to the parents of these boys, but, unfortunately, the situation has not exactly changed much in our favour. In view of this dangerous situation, which is prevailing in our neighbourhood, I would like you to please take some necessary steps to bring these adolescent boys and their dogs under control before some serious accidents take place. Yours faithfully, Jon Garson
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix attention collocation Original: bring Suggested revision: draw Why it matters: 'Draw your attention to' is the standard collocation in a formal complaint.
- 2. Use formal collocation Original: big Suggested revision: great Why it matters: 'Great concern' is more natural and suitably formal in this context.
- 3. Replace unnatural repetition Original: slowly and slowly Suggested revision: gradually Why it matters: 'Gradually' expresses the intended progressive change idiomatically.
- 4. Use formal wording Original: talked Suggested revision: spoken Why it matters: 'Spoken to' better matches the formal register of a letter to the mayor.
- 5. State outcome clearly Original: has not exactly changed much in our favour Suggested revision: has not improved Why it matters: The original phrase is vague and unnatural, while the revision states the outcome directly.
- 6. Make request decisive Original: I would like you to please take some necessary steps Suggested revision: I urge you to take the necessary steps Why it matters: A direct but respectful request better communicates the purpose of this formal complaint.
- 7. Use natural phrasing Original: some serious accidents take place Suggested revision: a serious accident occurs Why it matters: This is a more concise and natural way to express the potential consequence.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: In fact, the situation has become so dangerous and scary for some of our good neighbours that they are even afraid to come out of their homes sometimes because of these freely-roaming dogs. Suggested revision: In fact, some neighbours are now so frightened by these dogs roaming freely that they are sometimes afraid to leave their homes. Why it matters: This revision removes redundant wording and places 'sometimes' more naturally.
- 9. Specify the danger Suggested revision: Explain specifically what happens when the dogs approach residents and why that contact is dangerous. Why it matters: Calling the contact unsafe does not fully explain the dangerous situation requested by the task.
- 10. Organise the letter Suggested revision: Separate the complaint, the description of the danger, and the requested action into distinct paragraphs. Why it matters: Clear functional paragraphs would make the progression easier for the mayor to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- bring draw
- big great
- slowly and slowly gradually
- talked spoken
- has not exactly changed much in our favour has not improved
- I would like you to please take some necessary steps I urge you to take the necessary steps
Why this response received Band 7.0
The complaint has a clear purpose, an appropriately formal tone, and a logical movement from describing the problem to requesting municipal action. However, the danger is explained in rather general terms and several words and ideas are repeated; the best improvement would be to add one concrete example of risky behaviour while using more precise, less repetitive vocabulary.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are addressed and the requested action is clear, although the explanation of the danger remains somewhat general.
Include a concrete example, such as a dog chasing a child or approaching traffic, to demonstrate the specific risk.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from the complaint and background to consequences and a request, but the single-block presentation and repetition weaken cohesion.
Use separate paragraphs for the situation, its dangers, previous action, and the requested solution.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient formal vocabulary for the complaint, but repetition and awkward phrases such as ‘slowly and slowly’ and ‘in our favour’ limit precision.
Replace repeated general words with exact alternatives and use natural phrases such as ‘gradually’ and ‘the problem has persisted’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentences is used with generally accurate control, although some clauses are overloaded and punctuation is occasionally awkward.
Break the longest sentences into cleaner units and review comma placement around linking expressions.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
Write a letter to the Mayor, the head of a municipal government, about a situation in which some adolescents let their dogs run wildly. In your letter:
- describe how the adolescents let their dogs run wild
- explain why this creates a dangerous situation
- complain about the situation
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.