Write a letter to the Mayor, the head of a municipal government, about a situation in which some adolescents let their dogs run wildly. In your letter: - describe how the adolescents let their dogs run wild - explain why this creates a dangerous situation - complain about the situation
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to draw your attention to a situation that has been developing in my neighbourhood - some teenagers have dogs on the loose. I am hoping you would take the necessary action before somebody gets hurt or injured. Recently, I have witnessed that a few adolescences own dogs who are on the loose in the neighbourhood. These dogs, many of which are fierce-looking and not muzzled, run around the neighbourhood. The boys who accompany these dogs are mostly between 11-16 years old and do not care about the situation. Many freely run dogs are intimidating, especially to children and the elderly. I am afraid that it’s just a matter of time before someone gets seriously injured. The owners of these dogs, a bunch of adolescents, seem to be unaware of the dangers of letting their pets off the leash and have adopted a nonchalant attitude. The teenagers have been asked by numerous locals to keep the dogs under control but all requests have been ignored. I, therefore, believe that immediate action must be taken and I ask that you investigate the matter and take appropriate action as soon as possible to prevent the occurrence of injury and serious bodily harm. Yours faithfully, Carol Diana
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Separate salutation Original: Dear Sir or Madam, I am Suggested revision: Dear Sir or Madam, I am Why it matters: A formal letter should place its salutation on a separate line.
- 2. Remove redundant noun Original: writing this letter to draw Suggested revision: writing to draw Why it matters: The context already makes clear that this is a letter.
- 3. Fix explanation punctuation Original: neighbourhood - some Suggested revision: neighbourhood: some Why it matters: A colon appropriately introduces the explanation of the developing situation.
- 4. Use direct formal request Original: I am hoping you would take Suggested revision: I hope you will take Why it matters: The present hope about future action is expressed with "I hope ... will."
- 5. Remove repeated meaning Original: hurt or injured Suggested revision: injured Why it matters: "Hurt" and "injured" repeat the same idea in this context.
- 6. Use report verb Original: witnessed Suggested revision: noticed Why it matters: "Witness" normally takes an event as its object rather than a that-clause here.
- 7. Use person noun Original: adolescences Suggested revision: adolescents Why it matters: "Adolescence" is a stage of life, while "adolescents" refers to the young people.
- 8. Use animal relative Original: who Suggested revision: that Why it matters: "That" is the conventional relative pronoun for animals in this restrictive clause.
- 9. Keep formal register Original: bunch Suggested revision: group Why it matters: "A group" is more appropriate than the informal "a bunch" in a letter to the mayor.
- 10. Use formal resident term Original: numerous locals Suggested revision: many local residents Why it matters: The revision is clear and appropriately formal for a municipal complaint.
- 11. Add coordinating comma Original: under control but Suggested revision: under control, but Why it matters: A comma is needed before "but" when it joins two independent clauses.
- 12. Remove legalistic repetition Original: occurrence of injury and serious bodily harm Suggested revision: risk of serious injury Why it matters: The shorter phrase avoids repeating overlapping ideas.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Sir or Madam, I am Dear Sir or Madam, I am
- writing this letter to draw writing to draw
- neighbourhood - some neighbourhood: some
- I am hoping you would take I hope you will take
- hurt or injured injured
- witnessed noticed
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter’s strongest feature is its forceful, well-supported complaint, which clearly describes the uncontrolled dogs, identifies vulnerable residents, and requests prompt municipal action. Its main limitation is presentation and occasional word-form imprecision, particularly the single-block structure and “adolescences”; the highest-priority improvement is to organise description, danger, and requested action into separate paragraphs while correcting these local language errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The letter fully addresses all bullet points, sustains an appropriately formal tone, and supports the complaint with relevant details about risk and ignored requests.
Specify one practical action the municipality could take, such as enforcing leash requirements, to make the requested outcome even clearer.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically from the problem to its danger and the requested response, but the absence of paragraph breaks reduces readability.
Create separate paragraphs for the observation, the risks and prior complaints, and the action requested from the mayor.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is varied and suitably formal, although “adolescences,” “freely run dogs,” and some repeated injury language are inaccurate or awkward.
Use “adolescents,” “dogs running freely,” and one precise phrase such as “serious injury.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are generally well controlled, with occasional problems in relative clauses, word forms, and punctuation.
Revise “adolescents own dogs that are allowed to run loose” and use an em dash or colon consistently to introduce the problem.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
Write a letter to the Mayor, the head of a municipal government, about a situation in which some adolescents let their dogs run wildly. In your letter:
- describe how the adolescents let their dogs run wild
- explain why this creates a dangerous situation
- complain about the situation
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.