Write a letter to the Mayor, the head of a municipal government, about a situation in which some adolescents let their dogs run wildly. In your letter: - describe how the adolescents let their dogs run wild - explain why this creates a dangerous situation - complain about the situation
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am a resident of Block ‘D’ of the housing society in Oregon, writing this letter to notify you of a certain callous attitude of some young children. I am hoping you would take immediate action to curb the problem. By virtue of this letter, it is to bring to your attention that certain adolescents who reside in our society are creating a dangerous situation by letting their dogs run wildly throughout society. These dogs are on the loose and not muzzled. Children are in constant fear about the threat of a possible confrontation with a dog. Moreover, it is difficult for elderly residents to have an evening stroll in the park due to the same fear. In view of this, it is my humble request to issue a letter, through the medium of your office, to make the parents of such adolescents aware of the grim situation. Only a few teenagers irresponsible and careless behaviour and attitude are causing big trouble. I hope you would take proper action before a serious incident takes place. Yours faithfully, Neeraj Mehra
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use correct location preposition Original: of Suggested revision: in Why it matters: In is the appropriate preposition for a resident's location within a housing society.
- 2. Identify the complaint accurately Original: a certain callous attitude of some young children Suggested revision: irresponsible behaviour by some adolescents Why it matters: The prompt concerns adolescents letting dogs run loose, not an unspecified attitude among young children.
- 3. Use direct request tense Original: I am hoping you would take Suggested revision: I hope you will take Why it matters: Will is appropriate for a direct request about the mayor's future action.
- 4. Avoid inflated wording Original: By virtue of this letter Suggested revision: In this letter Why it matters: The replacement states the communicative purpose more directly.
- 5. Use natural description Original: run wildly throughout society Suggested revision: run loose throughout the housing society Why it matters: Run loose is the natural expression, and the identifies the specific housing society.
- 6. Use fear of Original: about Suggested revision: of Why it matters: Fear normally takes the preposition of in this construction.
- 7. Describe encounters naturally Original: a possible confrontation with a dog Suggested revision: possible encounters with the dogs Why it matters: Encounter is more natural than confrontation for an unwanted meeting with a loose dog.
- 8. Use take a stroll Original: have Suggested revision: take Why it matters: Take a stroll is the standard collocation.
- 9. Clarify the reference Original: due to the same fear Suggested revision: because of the same danger Why it matters: Danger refers more clearly to the loose dogs than the vague phrase the same fear.
- 10. Use measured formality Original: my humble request Suggested revision: my request Why it matters: Humble is unnecessarily deferential in a formal civic complaint.
- 11. Use concise wording Original: through the medium of your office Suggested revision: from your office Why it matters: The replacement conveys the source of the notice without inflated phrasing.
- 12. Avoid overstatement Original: grim Suggested revision: dangerous Why it matters: Dangerous directly describes the stated risk without unnecessary dramatization.
Suggested Rewrites
- of in
- a certain callous attitude of some young children irresponsible behaviour by some adolescents
- I am hoping you would take I hope you will take
- By virtue of this letter In this letter
- run wildly throughout society run loose throughout the housing society
- about of
Why this response received Band 6.5
The letter clearly identifies the uncontrolled dogs, explains risks to children and older residents, and makes an appropriately formal request for municipal action. Its main limitation is that the complaint is expressed through several awkward or ungrammatical sentences and offers only a fairly general description of the incidents; the priority is to add one concrete example and present the requested enforcement measure in concise, accurate language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are addressed in an appropriate formal register, with clear danger to children and older residents and a request for action.
Add a specific recent incident or location and ask for a concrete measure such as enforcing leashes and muzzles in shared areas.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter progresses from the complaint to the risks and requested action, but repeated framing and the single-block presentation reduce efficiency.
Use separate paragraphs for the observed behaviour, its consequences, and the action requested from the mayor.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary conveys concern and urgency, but several choices such as callous attitude, throughout society, and grim situation are imprecise or overstated.
Use direct civic-complaint language such as unleashed dogs, communal areas, risk to residents, and enforce local rules.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Most sentences are understandable, but awkward clause construction, possessive forms, agreement, and article use cause recurring errors.
Rewrite malformed sentences with clear subjects, for example A few teenagers' irresponsible behaviour is causing serious problems.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
Write a letter to the Mayor, the head of a municipal government, about a situation in which some adolescents let their dogs run wildly. In your letter:
- describe how the adolescents let their dogs run wild
- explain why this creates a dangerous situation
- complain about the situation
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.