You are looking for a part-time job at a football club. Write a letter to the manager of the football club. In your letter: - introduce yourself - explain what experience and special skills you have - tell him/her when you think you could start
Sample Response
Dear Sir/Madam,
My name is Jenny and I am 30 years old. I came across your advertisement on Facebook and I would love to be a part of your medical team next season.
I graduated as an M.D from Boston University. I have had 5 years of experience working in the medical field. Many of my patients are athletes so I am well-equipped with knowledge regarding sports injuries. I also have great communication and problem-solving skills which allow me to work and adapt well under great pressure.
I am currently finishing off my contract with Lanshire Hospital and would be available to start my new job on the 1st of March. However, I am aware that the new season will not start until the beginning of April so I am willing to wait if that is the official start date of the position.
Thank you for your consideration and I am looking forward to hearing back from you. Yours sincerely,
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use conventional salutation Original: Dear Sir/Madam, Suggested revision: Dear Sir or Madam, Why it matters: This is the standard formal salutation when the manager's name is unknown.
- 2. Use formal wording Original: would love to be a part of Suggested revision: would like to join Why it matters: The revised phrase is more concise and appropriate for a job application.
- 3. Correct degree phrasing Original: graduated as an M.D from Suggested revision: graduated with an M.D. from Why it matters: Use 'graduate with' for a degree and complete the abbreviation's punctuation.
- 4. Use concise experience phrase Original: have had 5 years of experience Suggested revision: have five years' experience Why it matters: This is a more concise formal structure and uses the possessive correctly.
- 5. Fix the collocation Original: well-equipped with knowledge regarding Suggested revision: well equipped with knowledge of Why it matters: 'Knowledge of' is the natural collocation, and a predicative compound does not need a hyphen here.
- 6. Use precise adjective Original: great Suggested revision: strong Why it matters: 'Strong' is the conventional adjective for professional skills.
- 7. Use formal wording Original: finishing off my contract Suggested revision: completing my contract Why it matters: 'Completing' is more professional than the informal phrasal verb.
- 8. Separate the closing sentences Original: Thank you for your consideration and I am Suggested revision: Thank you for your consideration. I am Why it matters: These two independent closing statements should be separated into distinct sentences.
- 9. Complete the sign-off Original: Yours sincerely, Suggested revision: Yours sincerely, Jenny Why it matters: Add the sender's name after the complimentary close.
- 10. Name the exact role Suggested revision: State the specific part-time position advertised at the football club. Why it matters: Naming the role would make the application purpose more precise than referring only to the medical team.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Sir/Madam, Dear Sir or Madam,
- would love to be a part of would like to join
- graduated as an M.D from graduated with an M.D. from
- have had 5 years of experience have five years' experience
- well-equipped with knowledge regarding well equipped with knowledge of
- great strong
Why this response received Band 8.0
The application is focused, professional, and particularly effective in linking the writer's medical experience and transferable skills to work at a football club. Its main limitation is that it assumes a medical-team role without explicitly confirming the advertised part-time position, while a few expressions are slightly unnatural. The priority is to identify the exact role and part-time availability more directly while retaining the clear supporting detail.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are addressed with relevant detail and an appropriate formal tone, though the exact part-time role is not clearly identified.
State the position being applied for and confirm the desired part-time arrangement explicitly in the opening.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter follows a clear sequence from introduction to qualifications, availability, and closing, with well-focused paragraphs.
Separate the closing formula from the final sentence and strengthen the transition from professional experience to availability.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of relevant professional vocabulary, although 'graduated as an M.D' and 'under great pressure' are not fully natural collocations.
Prefer idiomatic phrasing such as 'earned my medical degree' and 'work well under pressure'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied mix of simple and complex sentences is handled accurately, and errors are rare and non-impeding.
Fine-tune punctuation around longer coordinated sentences and format the complimentary close as a separate line.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are looking for a part-time job at a football club. Write a letter to the manager of the football club. In your letter:
- introduce yourself
- explain what experience and special skills you have
- tell him/her when you think you could start
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.