You are looking for a part-time job at a football club. Write a letter to the manager of the football club. In your letter: - introduce yourself - explain what experience and special skills you have - tell him/her when you think you could start
Sample Response
Dear Sir/Madam, I am a 21-year-old student and I am studying Sports Coaching Science at St Mary's University. I have been studying there for the past three years. I am writing to ask if there are any part-time job vacancies at your football club. I really enjoy sport, and my areas of particular interest and experience are Football, Rugby and Cricket. I have had some experience of coaching for these sports over the past three years that I have been at the University. Last year, I worked in the holidays at a football club in my own country. I will be able to provide references from this summer job and also from my teachers at the university. I would prefer to work in the evenings and at the weekends, as I have classes during the daytime, and I can start from the beginning of November. I look forward to hearing from you in the near future. Yours faithfully, Adam Lawerence
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use lowercase nouns Original: Football, Rugby and Cricket Suggested revision: football, rugby and cricket Why it matters: Names of sports are common nouns and do not require capital letters.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: experience of coaching for these sports Suggested revision: experience coaching these sports Why it matters: The revised phrase is a more natural way to describe coaching experience.
- 3. Remove repetition Original: over the past three years that I have been at the University Suggested revision: during my three years at the university Why it matters: The revision avoids repeating the same three-year period and uses appropriate lowercase for the generic noun.
- 4. Use correct preposition Original: in Suggested revision: during Why it matters: During is the more natural preposition for work performed over a holiday period.
- 5. Clarify the reference Original: this summer job Suggested revision: that job Why it matters: That job clearly refers back to the position held last year.
- 6. Use time preposition Original: from Suggested revision: at Why it matters: At is the natural preposition for a specific starting point.
- 7. Make the closing concise Original: in the near future Suggested revision: soon Why it matters: Soon expresses the same meaning more directly.
- 8. Specify your skills Suggested revision: Name the specific coaching skills you already have and briefly show how you used them. Why it matters: The letter describes experience and sporting interests but does not clearly explain the special skills requested in the task.
Suggested Rewrites
- Football, Rugby and Cricket football, rugby and cricket
- experience of coaching for these sports experience coaching these sports
- over the past three years that I have been at the University during my three years at the university
- in during
- this summer job that job
- from at
Why this response received Band 8.0
The letter is direct, appropriately formal, and complete, with convincing details about the applicant’s studies, coaching experience, references, availability, and start date. Its main limitation is the lack of visible paragraph breaks, which makes an otherwise well-sequenced application look denser than necessary. The highest-priority refinement is to group the introduction, qualifications, and availability into separate paragraphs while preserving the concise professional tone.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response fully achieves its purpose by introducing the applicant, detailing relevant experience and skills, and stating precise availability and a start date in a suitable formal tone.
Strengthen the application slightly by naming one concrete coaching responsibility or achievement that demonstrates the claimed skills.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses naturally from the application purpose through qualifications and references to availability, with cohesive links that remain unobtrusive.
Add clear paragraph breaks between the introduction, experience, availability, and closing to improve visual organisation.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and appropriate for a formal job enquiry, with effective expressions related to vacancies, coaching, references, and availability.
Refine minor presentation choices by using consistent lower-case names for sports when they are not proper nouns.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence forms is handled accurately, including relative, time, and reason clauses, with only very minor lapses.
Maintain this control while trimming occasional repetition, such as repeated references to the past three years.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are looking for a part-time job at a football club. Write a letter to the manager of the football club. In your letter:
- introduce yourself
- explain what experience and special skills you have
- tell him/her when you think you could start
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.