You celebrated your birthday with some friends last week in a restaurant. It was a great success and you and your friends enjoyed the evening very much. Write a letter to the restaurant. In your letter: - thank the restaurant for the successful evening - mention the food, service and atmosphere - suggest improvements that could make things better
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my gratitude for the service you offered on 30th December when I visited your restaurant along with my friends to celebrate my birthday. It was one of the most memorable birthday events in my life and your staff made it even more special by offering a complimentary birthday cake. You have definitely won me as one of your permanent customers and I would love to recommend your restaurant to my acquaintances. The atmosphere inside the restaurant was very soothing and relaxing. Beautiful interior and wonderful and accurately placed lighting system - neither too bright nor too dim make this place a perfect spot for celebrations. The taste of the food was just out of the world. Allow me to say that you made me nostalgic as the food tasted similar to what my mother cooks for me back at home, though this made me miss my home and mother more! However, I have a suggestion to make. You may think of introducing some discount cards or offering some corporate discounts to the people of the nearby area. This, I believe, would make our dine-outs more pocket-friendly. I hope that you will consider this suggestion. Once again, big thanks to you and your staff for making my birthday more distinctive. Yours faithfully, Pooja Gupta
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use hospitality collocation Original: service you offered Suggested revision: hospitality you provided Why it matters: ‘Hospitality provided’ naturally covers the restaurant’s service during the celebration.
- 2. Use formal date style Original: 30th Suggested revision: 30 Why it matters: Formal written dates commonly omit the ordinal suffix.
- 3. Use concise company phrase Original: along with my friends Suggested revision: with my friends Why it matters: ‘With’ conveys accompaniment without unnecessary wording.
- 4. Use natural event noun Original: events Suggested revision: celebrations Why it matters: A birthday occasion is naturally described as a celebration.
- 5. Use customer collocation Original: won me as one of your permanent customers Suggested revision: gained me as a loyal customer Why it matters: A business gains a loyal customer rather than wins a permanent one.
- 6. Avoid repetitive adjectives Original: very soothing and relaxing Suggested revision: calm and welcoming Why it matters: ‘Soothing’ and ‘relaxing’ overlap in meaning, while the revision gives a more varied description.
- 7. Fix idiomatic phrase Original: the Suggested revision: this Why it matters: The fixed idiom meaning exceptionally good is ‘out of this world’.
- 8. Use direct appreciation Original: Allow me to say that Suggested revision: I particularly appreciated that Why it matters: The revised phrase expresses praise directly and professionally.
- 9. Clarify the cause Original: you made me nostalgic Suggested revision: the meal made me feel nostalgic Why it matters: The meal, rather than the restaurant staff as ‘you’, prompted the feeling described.
- 10. Use concise comparison Original: what my mother cooks for me back at home Suggested revision: my mother’s cooking at home Why it matters: The possessive noun phrase conveys the comparison more naturally and concisely.
- 11. Moderate the tone Original: mother more! Suggested revision: mother even more. Why it matters: A full stop and the clearer intensifier keep the tone warm without becoming overly emotional.
- 12. Use polite suggestion verb Original: think of introducing Suggested revision: consider introducing Why it matters: ‘Consider’ is the standard verb for a formal recommendation.
Suggested Rewrites
- service you offered hospitality you provided
- 30th 30
- along with my friends with my friends
- events celebrations
- won me as one of your permanent customers gained me as a loyal customer
- very soothing and relaxing calm and welcoming
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter conveys warm, specific appreciation and covers the food, service, atmosphere, and a practical discount suggestion, making the communicative purpose successful. Its main weakness is presentation and precision: the entire response forms one paragraph, while several expressions and one lighting sentence are awkward or grammatically unstable. Prioritise clear paragraphing around appreciation, experience, and improvement, with more natural descriptive language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The thanks are convincing, the food, service, and atmosphere are all described, and a relevant improvement is suggested in a suitably warm tone.
Make the improvement more directly useful to the restaurant by briefly explaining how a local discount scheme could attract repeat customers.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a clear sequence from gratitude through detailed praise to the suggestion, but the lack of paragraph breaks weakens organisation.
Separate the opening thanks, the food-service-atmosphere description, and the improvement suggestion into focused paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The response uses varied and expressive vocabulary, though several choices are exaggerated, awkward, or imprecise for this context.
Replace phrases such as ‘won me as a permanent customer’, ‘out of the world’, and ‘more distinctive’ with natural appreciative language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Most sentences are well controlled and varied, but the description of the interior and lighting contains article, agreement, and construction errors.
Rewrite that sentence with a clear subject and agreement, for example by stating that the beautiful interior and well-positioned lighting make the restaurant ideal.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You celebrated your birthday with some friends last week in a restaurant. It was a great success and you and your friends enjoyed the evening very much. Write a letter to the restaurant. In your letter:
- thank the restaurant for the successful evening
- mention the food, service and atmosphere
- suggest improvements that could make things better
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.