You celebrated your birthday with some friends last week in a restaurant. It was a great success and you and your friends enjoyed the evening very much. Write a letter to the restaurant. In your letter: - thank the restaurant for the successful evening - mention the food, service and atmosphere - suggest improvements that could make things better
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to thank you for a fantastic and memorable evening for me and my friends at your restaurant. I would love to see you continue offering such an appreciating dining experience to your guests and wish remarkable success to your business. As you know, last week I celebrated my 27th birthday with my friends at your restaurant which turned out to be a great success. Everyone enjoyed the arrangement at the poolside and the decoration of sparkling lights with soft and soothing background music. Coming to the food, the presentation was as mouthwatering as the food itself. The service was fabulous too. I am very satisfied with your hospitality. However, I have a suggestion to make. A few friends of mine attended my birthday party with their children. So if you could have added some interesting games for them that would have made the party more interesting. I believe it would be very convenient for other people with children. I once again thank you for your admirable service. Yours faithfully, Mansoor Afzal
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix collocation Original: appreciating Suggested revision: enjoyable Why it matters: Appreciating does not naturally describe an experience.
- 2. Use natural wording Original: wish remarkable success to your business Suggested revision: wish your business continued success Why it matters: This is the idiomatic way to express the goodwill message.
- 3. Clarify the relative clause Original: at your restaurant which turned out to be a great success Suggested revision: at your restaurant, and the evening was a great success Why it matters: The original relative clause incorrectly suggests that the restaurant itself turned out to be a success.
- 4. Use precise setting Original: arrangement at the poolside Suggested revision: poolside setting Why it matters: This names the atmosphere more naturally.
- 5. Improve collocation Original: decoration of sparkling lights Suggested revision: sparkling light decorations Why it matters: The revised phrase is more natural and concise.
- 6. Describe presentation Original: mouthwatering Suggested revision: appealing Why it matters: Appealing is a more precise adjective for visual presentation.
- 7. Clarify benefit Original: convenient Suggested revision: helpful Why it matters: Games would be helpful for families rather than convenient in themselves.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: The service was fabulous too. Suggested revision: The service was excellent as well. Why it matters: The revision maintains appreciation in a more suitably formal register.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: So if you could have added some interesting games for them that would have made the party more interesting. Suggested revision: If you could add some games for children in future, this would make family celebrations even more enjoyable. Why it matters: The original conditional treats a future suggestion as an unreal past event.
- 10. Separate letter sections Suggested revision: Divide the letter into paragraphs for thanks, details of the evening, the improvement, and the closing. Why it matters: The single block obscures the otherwise clear progression of the letter.
Suggested Rewrites
- appreciating enjoyable
- wish remarkable success to your business wish your business continued success
- at your restaurant which turned out to be a great success at your restaurant, and the evening was a great success
- arrangement at the poolside poolside setting
- decoration of sparkling lights sparkling light decorations
- mouthwatering appealing
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter fully addresses the successful evening, food, service, atmosphere, and a practical child-friendly improvement while maintaining a warm, suitably formal tone. Its main limitation is occasional awkward wording and a single-block structure that obscures the clear progression of ideas. The highest-priority improvement is to separate appreciation, event details, and the suggestion into distinct paragraphs while refining less natural collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is immediately clear, all three bullet points are well developed, and the appreciative formal tone suits a restaurant manager.
Frame the children's games idea as a future recommendation rather than as something the restaurant should have added to this past event.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas move logically from thanks through details to the suggested improvement, but the single-block presentation weakens paragraph-level organisation.
Use separate paragraphs for the positive experience, the food and service details, and the proposed improvement.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and expressive, although phrases such as appreciating dining experience and arrangement at the poolside are not fully natural.
Choose more idiomatic collocations such as enjoyable dining experience and poolside setting, and avoid repeating interesting.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentences is handled accurately overall, with a few awkward relative and conditional structures.
Use a consistent future-oriented conditional for the recommendation and clarify the antecedent in the sentence containing which turned out to be a great success.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You celebrated your birthday with some friends last week in a restaurant. It was a great success and you and your friends enjoyed the evening very much. Write a letter to the restaurant. In your letter:
- thank the restaurant for the successful evening
- mention the food, service and atmosphere
- suggest improvements that could make things better
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.