You celebrated your birthday with some friends last week in a restaurant. It was a great success and you and your friends enjoyed the evening very much. Write a letter to the restaurant. In your letter: - thank the restaurant for the successful evening - mention the food, service and atmosphere - suggest improvements that could make things better
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to say thanks for organising a wonderful birthday party for us. It was a great evening with fascinating arrangements and the credits go to you and your staff members. First of all, I would like to mention that the venue was so beautiful that it amazed my family and friends. The party hall was decorated with colourful lights and posters and the use of candles and flowers made the interior worth looking at. We were impressed to see some unique paintings around the stage. The birthday cake that you provided was a stunner - it could not have looked and tasted any better. During the main course, we were severed platters which were immediate hits. I really appreciate the delicious menu we have had that evening. Lastly, I recommend live music - which I believe will increase the worth of your restaurant. Sometimes you can invite music bands to perform live music. Once again I am very thankful for your admirable services. Yours faithfully, Bilal Ahsan
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use formal thanks Original: say thanks Suggested revision: thank you Why it matters: This is more natural and suitably formal for a letter to a restaurant.
- 2. Improve word choice Original: fascinating Suggested revision: excellent Why it matters: 'Excellent' describes the quality of the arrangements more precisely.
- 3. Fix number agreement Original: the credits go Suggested revision: the credit goes Why it matters: The expression uses singular 'credit' with the singular verb 'goes'.
- 4. Use natural description Original: made the interior worth looking at Suggested revision: made the interior very attractive Why it matters: This describes the visual effect more naturally and directly.
- 5. Use suitable register Original: a stunner Suggested revision: a highlight of the evening Why it matters: The revision preserves the praise in a more appropriate formal register.
- 6. Correct spelling Original: severed Suggested revision: served Why it matters: 'Served' is the intended verb; 'severed' means cut apart.
- 7. Use past simple Original: we have had that evening Suggested revision: we had that evening Why it matters: A finished occasion in the past requires the past simple here.
- 8. Improve collocation Original: increase the worth of your restaurant Suggested revision: enhance the appeal of your restaurant Why it matters: This collocation expresses the proposed benefit of live music more naturally.
- 9. Remove redundancy Original: music bands Suggested revision: bands Why it matters: A band is already a musical group, so 'music' is redundant.
- 10. Describe the service Suggested revision: Add a specific detail about the staff's service, such as their attentiveness or efficiency during the meal. Why it matters: The task explicitly requests discussion of service, but the letter only thanks the staff generally.
Suggested Rewrites
- say thanks thank you
- fascinating excellent
- the credits go the credit goes
- made the interior worth looking at made the interior very attractive
- a stunner a highlight of the evening
- severed served
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter communicates warm appreciation, gives vivid details about the food and atmosphere, and offers a relevant improvement in an appropriately courteous tone. The main weakness is that the service itself receives little specific description, while some word choices and the single body block reduce polish. Add a concrete service example, organise the points into paragraphs, and choose more natural collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response thanks the restaurant, discusses the food and atmosphere, and suggests live music, although the service is only praised in general terms.
Add a specific example of attentive or efficient service to develop that required point fully.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information follows a clear sequence and linking is easy to follow, but most content is compressed into one long body paragraph.
Group the atmosphere, food and service, and suggested improvement into distinct paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is varied and expressive, but errors such as severed platters and increase the worth reduce precision and naturalness.
Check collocations and near-homophones, using served platters and enhance the restaurant's appeal instead.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer uses a good mix of simple and complex sentences with generally accurate control and clear meaning.
Improve tense consistency and article choices in phrases such as the delicious menu we have had that evening.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You celebrated your birthday with some friends last week in a restaurant. It was a great success and you and your friends enjoyed the evening very much. Write a letter to the restaurant. In your letter:
- thank the restaurant for the successful evening
- mention the food, service and atmosphere
- suggest improvements that could make things better
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.