Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Delete我把两张截图中可见的修改都合并进去了，也补充了论证，使文章达到 **260 词**。保留了你原来的立场：竞争能促使人努力，但合作在长期更重要。
Many people believe that competition is necessary in professional, academic, and everyday environmentsat work, at school and in daily life, while others claim that cooperation is more important. In my opinion, although competition can encourage people to work harder, cooperation is more beneficialvaluable because it helps them develop communication skills.
On the one hand, competition can encourage people to work harder. Namely, it incentivizesThis is because it motivates them to outperform others and achieve better results. For example, a student who wants to attain superior academic resultsget higher marks than their peershis or her classmates may study more regularly and spend extra time reviewing difficult subjects. Without this motivation, some students would likely be less inclinedwill probably become less willing to apply themselves diligentlymake an effort. Therefore, competition can help people set goals and improve their performance.
On the other hand, cooperation can improve people's communication skills because working with others requires discussion. For instance, if students need to complete a group assignment, they have to communicate with their teammates to divide the tasks and agree on a plan. This process can enhance interpersonal competenceimprove students' communication skills, as they must process a large amount of spoken information and respond to different opinions. These skills also play a vital role not only in people's work and study but also in their daily lives. In the workplace, for instance, colleagues oftenFor example, colleagues often need to share information and solve problems together.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that cooperation is more impactfulsignificant than competition in the long term. WhileEven though competition can encourage people to work harder, cooperation helps them develop communication skills and maintain productive relationships. These benefits make it more important in modern society.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a clear opinion and effectively addresses both sides of the debate with relevant supporting points. Progression is logical and paragraphing is well-managed throughout the text. To reach higher bands, expand on the range of benefits beyond communication skills and integrate more sophisticated vocabulary and complex syntactic structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response clearly addresses both perspectives and presents a consistent personal position throughout the essay.
Broaden the discussion on cooperation beyond communication skills to cover aspects like problem-solving and emotional support.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is logical and ideas progress smoothly with effective linking devices between sentences.
Use a wider variety of cohesive devices to avoid relying on standard transitional phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'For example'.
Lexical Resource
The essay uses a good range of topic-appropriate vocabulary with accurate spelling and word choice.
Incorporate less common lexical items and precise collocations to express nuanced ideas more naturalistically.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentences show good grammatical control with a flexible mix of simple and complex structures.
Introduce advanced structures such as reduced relative clauses or inverted conditional sentences to demonstrate higher flexibility.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.