Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Education is a vital element in a child's development. Over the past years, there has been a lot of option on how the parents want their children to attain an excellent education. Hence it brought the argument on being homeschool and being enrolled in a school. Although homeschooling provides much freedom for the children to learn on their own time without limit, being enrolled in school will provide them much of the resources that are available in a school set up. Homeschooling has been a practice throughout history, as the mother serves as the first teacher. At the present, homeschooling has been a choice for parents who commonly not satisfied with the school system. It provides learning freedom, giving children enough time to focus on one topic at the time as well as giving them enough rest periods. Commonly it is facilitated by the mother, giving them a chance to spend much time with their children creating a great bond. Moreover, making them aware of the children’s aptitude, attitude and abilities, making it easier to come with the individualised lessons and facilitate one-on-one tutorial. Another benefit of it is that it helps in reducing emotional pressure brought by bullies, peer pressure and boredom. On the contrary, this requires a full attention by the parents, limiting their time to work. Thus, requires parents to be creative in facilitating the lesson in order to gain interest and children's attention in each lesson. In the fiscal note, although you are not obliged to pay for tuition fees, being homeschool is expensive as you need to buy certain educational resources that are easily available in school settings. On the other side, attending school provides a lot of positive aspects; one of this is that the school provides a wide range of up to date educational resources. Moreover, teaching is facilitated by a well-trained teacher that can provide effective teaching strategies. Although bullies and peer pressure are present in the school settings, this will help children to be socially exposed to these factors, thus, giving them a chance to cope with it and further gain their confidence and high self-esteem. To sum it up, both choices has its positive and negative side, but in my opinion, attending school provide a wide range of necessary information as well as skills that children will help them develop well. Even though attending school is beneficial, education supplementation from home will help students to attain a high level of education. School and home teaching will greatly help students understand more and help them mould their character and attitudes that will help them in the near future.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural count noun Original: a lot of option Suggested revision: many options Why it matters: 'Option' is countable, so the plural form is required after a large quantity.
- 2. Remove unnecessary article Original: on how the parents want Suggested revision: about how parents want Why it matters: A general plural reference to parents does not take 'the'.
- 3. Clarify the result Original: Hence it brought Suggested revision: This has led to Why it matters: The revised phrase gives the result a clear subject and suitable tense.
- 4. Use standard terminology Original: argument on being homeschool Suggested revision: debate over homeschooling Why it matters: 'Homeschooling' is the correct noun, and a debate is 'over' an issue.
- 5. Use natural quantity Original: much Suggested revision: considerable Why it matters: 'Considerable freedom' is a more natural academic collocation.
- 6. Clarify learning pace Original: on their own time without limit Suggested revision: at their own pace Why it matters: The standard expression clearly describes flexible learning speed.
- 7. Correct object pattern Original: provide them much of the resources Suggested revision: provide them with many resources Why it matters: 'Provide' takes 'with', and plural countable resources take 'many'.
- 8. Use standard noun Original: school set up Suggested revision: school setting Why it matters: 'School setting' is the natural term for the educational environment.
- 9. Correct fixed phrase Original: At the present Suggested revision: At present Why it matters: The fixed time expression does not include 'the'.
- 10. Complete the relative clause Original: parents who commonly not satisfied Suggested revision: parents who are often dissatisfied Why it matters: The clause needs the verb 'are', and 'dissatisfied' is the natural adjective.
- 11. Correct fixed phrase Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: The established expression uses the indefinite article 'a'.
- 12. Place adverb naturally Original: Commonly it is facilitated Suggested revision: It is commonly facilitated Why it matters: The frequency adverb follows the auxiliary in this passive clause.
Suggested Rewrites
- a lot of option many options
- on how the parents want about how parents want
- Hence it brought This has led to
- argument on being homeschool debate over homeschooling
- much considerable
- on their own time without limit at their own pace
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response covers both methods extensively, offering several relevant benefits of homeschooling and schooling before reaching a clear preference for school supplemented by learning at home. Its strongest feature is the breadth of ideas, while the main limitation is language control and presentation: frequent grammatical errors, sentence fragments, and absent paragraphing reduce clarity. Prioritise grouped body paragraphs and accurate sentence structure around the strongest advantages.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The advantages of both methods are developed through relevant points and the preference for school with home supplementation is clear, though some disadvantages add unnecessary length.
Focus each body section on the strongest requested advantages and compare how each method supports children's academic and social development.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas move logically from homeschooling to schooling and a qualified conclusion, but the single long paragraph and repetitive transitions weaken organisation.
Create separate introduction, homeschooling, school, and conclusion paragraphs, each with a clear controlling idea.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonable range of education vocabulary, but inaccurate collocations and word forms occur frequently.
Use natural forms such as 'be homeschooled,' 'school setting,' 'individualised instruction,' 'full-time attention,' and 'educational resources.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex forms is attempted and meaning is generally clear, but agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence fragments recur throughout.
Turn fragments beginning with 'Moreover' and 'Thus' into complete sentences and check subject-verb agreement in the conclusion.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.