Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.
Same question Compare 3 different answersSample Response
One school of thought is that the best approach for child’s development is that if parents teach their children themselves at home. On the other hand, the second school of thought is that children should attend school for their better development. There is no general consensus over this and both approaches have advantages.
Let’s see the advantages of the first approach. It is understood that no one can better understand their child except his/her parents. A child is with the parents since birth and parents know each and every aspect of the child. While teacher has to teach the whole class and take every student along with including slow learners and fast learners. Whereas parents have one child to teach and they can give him/her their hundred percent attention. They can schedule the teaching as per their child’s pace. Moreover, parents can better look after the child.
Another approach is attending school. This method has its own advantages. In school, a child has to spend his time in the class with other children of the same age. He/she starts making new friends. They not only talk about studies but also discuss other happenings around them. They share knowledge and information with each other. All the children take part in group activities including extracurricular activities. As a result, their confidence increases many folds.
As we have seen, both methods have their own advantages. However, I strongly feel that it is very vital for children to attend school. This way, school and parents share the responsibility of development of the child and it is the best approach.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural contrast Original: the second school of thought Suggested revision: another school of thought Why it matters: 'Another' presents the contrasting view more naturally than numbering it as 'the second.'
- 2. Remove the possessive Original: for their better development Suggested revision: for better development Why it matters: The possessive determiner is unnecessary before the general uncountable noun 'development.'
- 3. Correct the collocation Original: consensus over this Suggested revision: consensus on this issue Why it matters: 'Consensus on an issue' is the standard collocation.
- 4. Use present perfect Original: is with the parents since birth Suggested revision: has been with their parents since birth Why it matters: 'Since birth' describes a state continuing to the present and therefore requires the present perfect.
- 5. Avoid redundant wording Original: each and every aspect Suggested revision: every aspect Why it matters: 'Each and every' is unnecessarily emphatic here and 'every' conveys the intended meaning concisely.
- 6. Fix sentence connection Original: Whereas parents Suggested revision: Parents, however, Why it matters: 'Whereas' makes this independent sentence a fragment rather than a complete contrast.
- 7. Use natural expression Original: their hundred percent attention Suggested revision: their full attention Why it matters: 'Full attention' is the idiomatic expression for complete focus.
- 8. Use formal wording Original: as per Suggested revision: according to Why it matters: 'According to' is clearer and more natural in formal academic prose.
- 9. Name the method clearly Original: Another approach is attending school Suggested revision: The other approach is school attendance Why it matters: The revised phrase identifies the second method more directly and parallels the earlier contrast.
- 10. Use inclusive agreement Original: his Suggested revision: their Why it matters: Singular 'they' avoids assuming the child's gender and supports consistent reference.
- 11. Remove unnecessary article Original: in the class Suggested revision: in class Why it matters: The fixed expression for participating in lessons is 'in class' without an article.
- 12. Simplify pronoun reference Original: He/she Suggested revision: The child Why it matters: Using the noun phrase avoids the awkward slash construction and keeps the reference clear.
Suggested Rewrites
- the second school of thought another school of thought
- for their better development for better development
- consensus over this consensus on this issue
- is with the parents since birth has been with their parents since birth
- each and every aspect every aspect
- Whereas parents Parents, however,
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response covers both approaches and gives a clear preference for school, with a straightforward progression from home teaching to classroom benefits. Its main limitation is that several ideas, especially the final opinion, remain general, while repetitive wording and frequent sentence-level errors reduce precision. The highest priority is to explain why the preferred sharing of responsibility produces better development, using one specific comparison and more accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both methods' advantages are addressed and a clear opinion is given, though the justification for that preference is only briefly developed.
Explain more fully why attending school while retaining parental support is superior, using a specific developmental outcome.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and broad progression are clear, but some linking is mechanical and several short statements interrupt the flow.
Connect supporting sentences through clearer cause-and-effect relationships instead of repeatedly introducing points as separate assertions.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for the topic and includes some less common items, but repetition and awkward expressions limit precision.
Use more varied language for children and development, and replace unnatural phrases such as "increases many folds" with accurate collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex forms, but fragments, missing articles, and awkward clause structures occur frequently.
Turn the "While" and "Whereas" fragments into complete comparative sentences and check articles and pronoun agreement throughout.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.