Some people say that international sporting events contribute greatly to peace and stability in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Today's world is reeling from conflictis wobbling under conflicts, terrorism and wars that make global peace a distant reality. Even in this difficult contextEven in this gloomy moment, many people think that international sporting events can play an essential role in restoring global peace and harmony. I agree with this viewpoint primarily because I believe that global sporting events have the power to bring people and nations closer and promote the message of peace.
One major reason why I believe that international sporting events are effective in maintaining global peace is that such events bring people closer and enable them to appreciate sportsmanship and develop mutual compassionlet them all appreciate sportsmanship and share compassion. Regardless of race, religion, nationality and gender, athletessportsmen and fans share the same passion and enthusiasm. When they gatherAnd when they gather in a venue, they tend to learn from each other and see the human side of people. It gives them an extraordinary opportunity to express compassion for one anothershare their compassion for others. For instance, the Olympic Games event gives a perfect opportunity for athletes and fans from all around the world to gather and display their athletic prowess and mutual support before a global audiencedisplay their athletic prowess and support to a global audience where people appreciate their performance and talents and set aside their differencesforget their dissimilarities.
Moreover, such global events promote the message of peace as the spirit of games overcomes the barriers and conflicts between nationsbarriers and conflicts nations have. This is why millions of people become one when their national team performs to bring glory to the nation. They forget the differences in their ethnicity, background and class, and it helps positively promote nationality; thus paving the way for peace and unity. For instance, when players of two rival nations like India and Pakistan, or Iran and the USA, show amicable behaviours on and off the field, millions of viewersaudiences learn to appreciate positive relations with people from the rival nationappreciate their relationship with the people of the rival nation. This is immensely helpful in paving the way forto maintaining global peace.
To conclude, major global sporting events not only bring people from different parts of the world together but also ease tensions and promote the message of peace. Thus they are immensely effective in restoring and maintaining global peace and stability.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay maintains a clear position and develops two closely related but persuasive mechanisms through which sport may promote peace, using relevant international examples. Its main limitation is some repetition and overstatement, together with occasional awkward vocabulary; the highest-priority improvement is to distinguish interpersonal contact from diplomatic tension reduction more sharply and qualify claims about sport restoring global peace.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear agreement is sustained and supported by well-developed arguments about shared identity, sportsmanship, and improved relations between rival nations.
Acknowledge the limits of sporting events and explain why their contribution remains significant despite not resolving political conflicts alone.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised, with clear paragraph purposes and cohesive progression from individual contact to broader national relations.
Reduce repeated references to promoting peace and use each paragraph ending to advance, rather than restate, the central claim.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is broad and often precise, but phrases such as “wobbling under conflicts,” “Olympic Games event,” and “millions of audiences” are unnatural.
Prefer conventional expressions such as “affected by conflict,” “the Olympic Games,” and “millions of viewers.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is generally controlled, with occasional errors in articles, noun forms, punctuation, and clause attachment.
Proofread complex example sentences for clear reference and check countable nouns and punctuation before finalising the essay.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that international sporting events contribute greatly to peace and stability in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.