Some people say that international sporting events contribute greatly to peace and stability in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Major international sporting events are often considered by many as platforms for athletes and sportspersons to perform and bring glory to their nations while positively promoting global harmony. However, it is a cruel reality that such international events fail to promote global peace and accord, and are often subject to controversy and conflicts. This is why, I disagree with the opinion that such international sporting competitions contribute positively towards global stability, peace and unity.
To begin with, when players display excellent sportsmanship in a major sporting event, the global audience tent to enjoy the performance. But, it has almost no impact on the politics of the two rival nations and lasting peace between them. For instance, millions of people enjoy when players of India and Pakistan perform in cricket stadiums. It often brings citizens of these two countries together, but it fails to make any positive impact on the political relationships between these two nations.
Moreover, major sporting events are the stages for competitions, and there is always a winning and a losing team. The same decision made by a match referee is welcomed by the fans of a nation while vehemently opposed by the supporter of another team. It is not a conducive approach to supporting peace, unity and brotherhood among people from different nations. Rather, it sparks argument and controversy. For instance, after most World Cup competitions, people have diving opinions about the decisions made by referees, and they never tend to agree with the opposing supporters. It has even sparked fights and conflicts in and out of stadiums.
To conclude, international sporting events may be effective in bringing people of different nations to the same playground, but due to their competitive natures and controversies, and no lasting impacts on the politics and policies of rival nations, they fail to help promote peace and harmony among nations.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix complement pattern Original: considered by many as platforms Suggested revision: considered by many to be platforms Why it matters: The verb pattern is 'considered to be' rather than 'considered as' here.
- 2. Remove redundancy Original: athletes and sportspersons Suggested revision: athletes Why it matters: These two nouns overlap in meaning, so one precise term is enough.
- 3. Use concise wording Original: positively promoting Suggested revision: promoting Why it matters: The positive meaning is already conveyed by 'promoting global harmony'.
- 4. Use neutral tone Original: a cruel reality Suggested revision: the reality Why it matters: A neutral expression is more appropriate for an analytical argument.
- 5. Avoid synonym repetition Original: peace and accord Suggested revision: peace Why it matters: The two nouns express nearly the same idea in this context.
- 6. Use uncountable noun Original: conflicts Suggested revision: conflict Why it matters: 'Conflict' is used uncountably when referring generally to social discord.
- 7. Remove incorrect comma Original: This is why, I disagree Suggested revision: This is why I disagree Why it matters: No comma should separate the introductory complement from the main clause.
- 8. Correct preposition Original: towards Suggested revision: to Why it matters: The standard construction is 'contribute to' an outcome.
- 9. Fix form and agreement Original: the global audience tent Suggested revision: global audiences tend Why it matters: The verb is misspelled and a plural subject better matches people worldwide.
- 10. Fix verb pattern Original: when Suggested revision: watching Why it matters: 'Enjoy' takes a gerund rather than a clause introduced by 'when' in this structure.
- 11. Use precise singular Original: relationships Suggested revision: relationship Why it matters: The relationship between the two named countries is presented as one bilateral relationship.
- 12. Fix article use Original: are the stages for competitions Suggested revision: are stages for competition Why it matters: The generic description does not require the definite article, and 'competition' works as an abstract noun.
Suggested Rewrites
- considered by many as platforms considered by many to be platforms
- athletes and sportspersons athletes
- positively promoting promoting
- a cruel reality the reality
- peace and accord peace
- conflicts conflict
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response maintains a clear disagreement and supports it with two relevant lines of argument, especially the distinction between public enjoyment and lasting political peace. Its main limitation is that several claims are broad and some examples stop short of explaining the mechanism fully. Prioritise deeper analysis of how competition or controversy affects international relations, while tightening awkward wording and word-choice slips.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear throughout, and two relevant reasons are supported with examples, although some broad claims limit the depth of analysis.
Extend one example step by step to show precisely why a sporting event does or does not produce a lasting diplomatic effect.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a logical four-part progression with focused paragraphs, though some transitions and links between claims are mechanical.
Vary the linking language and make the relationship between each claim and its supporting example more explicit.
Lexical Resource
Topic vocabulary is varied and generally effective, but several imprecise or incorrect choices reduce precision.
Replace overstated or misaligned expressions with more exact collocations and proofread carefully for word-choice and spelling slips.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A useful range of complex sentence forms is generally controlled, with occasional article, number, agreement, and punctuation errors.
Check agreement, plural forms, clause linking, and comma placement so complex sentences remain consistently accurate.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that international sporting events contribute greatly to peace and stability in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.