Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
In this interconnected world where communication plays a pivotal role in success, the proper age for learning a foreign language has become a controversial issue with some linguists advocating for teaching children a second language in primary schools rather than in secondary schools. This essay will delve into both the benefits and demerits of teaching children a foreign language in primary school and opine that it has more advantages than hindrances.
A big demerit of teaching learners a foreign language in elementary schools is that it affects their learning of their mother tongue. When they have to learn two or more languages, one their native tongue and one or more dominant global languages, they often end up prioritising foreign language learning over their first language. This is evident among the many English medium students in many developing countries who have excellent skills in English and French but not so much of the language spoken in their country.
On the contrary, one major advantage of teaching a foreign language to primary schoolgoers is that they learn the language naturally, and become more adept at using it than those who learn it later. This is because cognitive development at this stage happens faster and young children can learn the language with ease. A survey among two thousand university students conducted by the University of Metropolis has shown that learners who were exposed to a foreign language at elementary school have more mastery of it than those who were not. Moreover, those who learn a second language at a very early age, start developing an appreciation for other cultures and traditions. This helps them become more tolerant individuals and ready to embrace changes.
All in all, it is evident that the advantages of learning a foreign language overshadow the potential drawbacks this approach may have. Therefore, it is expected that elementary pupils would be exposed to a second language to reap the maximum benefits.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a natural pairing Original: demerits Suggested revision: drawbacks Why it matters: Benefits and drawbacks is the more conventional academic pairing.
- 2. Use consistent terms Original: hindrances Suggested revision: disadvantages Why it matters: Disadvantages directly matches the comparison established in the task and sentence.
- 3. Add the missing verb Original: one their native tongue Suggested revision: one being their native tongue Why it matters: Being is required to introduce the first item in this explanatory phrase.
- 4. Complete the comparison Original: not so much of the language spoken in their country Suggested revision: a far weaker command of the language spoken in their country Why it matters: The replacement supplies the noun phrase needed after but and makes the comparison grammatical.
- 5. Use the right contrast Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: By contrast introduces a different side, whereas on the contrary normally refutes a preceding claim.
- 6. Use formal wording Original: primary schoolgoers Suggested revision: primary school pupils Why it matters: Primary school pupils is a more natural formal expression.
- 7. Improve precision Original: cognitive development at this stage happens faster Suggested revision: cognitive development at this stage is rapid Why it matters: Development is more naturally described as rapid than as happening faster without a stated comparison.
- 8. Correct the preposition Original: among Suggested revision: of Why it matters: A survey of respondents is the standard construction.
- 9. Correct the collocation Original: more Suggested revision: greater Why it matters: Greater, rather than more, naturally modifies mastery.
- 10. Remove the subject comma Original: at a very early age, start developing Suggested revision: at a very early age start developing Why it matters: The comma incorrectly separates the subject clause from its verb.
- 11. Use precise wording Original: proper Suggested revision: ideal Why it matters: Ideal age more precisely expresses the debate over the best time to start learning.
- 12. Streamline the verb pattern Original: advocating for teaching Suggested revision: advocating teaching Why it matters: Advocate can take a gerund directly in concise formal English.
Suggested Rewrites
- demerits drawbacks
- hindrances disadvantages
- one their native tongue one being their native tongue
- not so much of the language spoken in their country a far weaker command of the language spoken in their country
- On the contrary By contrast
- primary schoolgoers primary school pupils
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response answers the comparative question directly and supports its position with a clear disadvantage and two developed advantages. Its main limitation is linguistic precision: conspicuous choices such as 'big demerit,' 'more mastery,' and 'advantages ... than hindrances' make an otherwise fluent argument sound less natural, while a few sentence-level constructions are awkward. Prioritise idiomatic academic collocations and tighter proofreading so the strong development is matched by consistently precise expression.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly answers the outweigh question and develops a relevant drawback alongside two clearly explained advantages.
Make the comparison more explicit by explaining why the advantages collectively carry greater weight than the mother-tongue concern.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically sequenced in purposeful paragraphs, and progression between the disadvantage, advantages, and conclusion is easy to follow.
Use a more precise transition than 'On the contrary' when moving from the drawback to the advantages.
Lexical Resource
There is a broad academic vocabulary, but recurrent awkward collocations and imprecise choices reduce naturalness and precision.
Replace forced expressions such as 'big demerit' and 'more mastery' with idiomatic alternatives such as 'significant drawback' and 'greater proficiency.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with generally clear meaning, though several awkward constructions and punctuation errors are noticeable.
Proofread apposition, parallel structures, and comma placement, especially in sentences containing multiple clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.