Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
Many language specialists suggest that teaching a foreign language at elementary school is more effective and beneficial for learners than introducing it at secondary school. In this essay, the drawbacks and benefits of this method will be analysed first and then expressed that it has more significant drawbacks than benefits.
A major advantage of introducing foreign language classes to primary school students is that it helps them become bilingual at an early age. Being bilingual at such a tender age improves their cognitive flexibility, problem-solving capacity, and academic performance. They tend to outperform monolingual learners in academic and extracurricular activities. To cite an example, most bilingual primary school students, according to statistics published by the Language Learners Research Institute in Spain, showcased better cognitive abilities and academic performance compared to their monolingual peers.
A significant drawback of teaching young elementary school learners a foreign language is that it puts extra burdens on young learners who are already dazzled with other academic subjects like mathematics, science, arts, literature and so on. This extra pressure may be a leading cause for them to develop apathy towards schools and learning as a whole. For instance, my seven years old sister liked school so much that she never wanted to miss it. Lately, she was coming up with every single excuse her young mind could fathom to avoid school. After some successful counselling sessions, it was revealed that she lost her interest to go to school because of academic pressure coupled with two language learning classes. This event has opened my eyes to how putting pressure on teaching extra languages can be negative for children when they are already overwhelmed with their academic work.
To conclude, learning foreign languages and being bilingual is important for learners. But when they are imposed on primary schoolgoers, they can apparently be more negative than useful.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix class preposition Original: to Suggested revision: for Why it matters: Classes are provided “for” students rather than introduced “to” them in this construction.
- 2. Use neutral age phrase Original: tender Suggested revision: young Why it matters: “Young age” is direct and more neutral than the emotive adjective “tender.”
- 3. Use concise example marker Original: To cite an example Suggested revision: For example Why it matters: The standard connector introduces the evidence more concisely.
- 4. Use academic reporting verb Original: showcased Suggested revision: demonstrated Why it matters: Research findings more naturally “demonstrate” abilities than “showcase” them.
- 5. Remove redundant wording Original: young elementary school learners Suggested revision: primary school pupils Why it matters: Primary school pupils are already young learners, so the original phrase is repetitive.
- 6. Fix burden collocation Original: puts Suggested revision: places Why it matters: The established collocation is “place a burden on” someone.
- 7. Correct adjective and preposition Original: dazzled with other academic subjects Suggested revision: overwhelmed by other academic subjects Why it matters: “Overwhelmed by” describes excessive workload, whereas “dazzled with” does not.
- 8. Use singular subject name Original: arts Suggested revision: art Why it matters: The school subject is generally called “art” in the singular.
- 9. Remove vague ending Original: and so on Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The listed examples already establish the category, so the vague ending is unnecessary.
- 10. Fix causal construction Original: a leading cause for them to develop Suggested revision: a major factor that leads them to develop Why it matters: The revised relative clause expresses the causal relationship grammatically.
- 11. Use generic singular Original: schools Suggested revision: school Why it matters: “School” is singular and uncountable when referring generally to education.
- 12. Hyphenate age adjective Original: my seven years old sister Suggested revision: my seven-year-old sister Why it matters: A compound age used before a noun is singular and hyphenated.
Suggested Rewrites
- to for
- tender young
- To cite an example For example
- showcased demonstrated
- young elementary school learners primary school pupils
- puts places
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response answers the comparison directly, maintains a clear view that the disadvantages are greater, and develops both sides with specific support. Its main limitation is uneven language control: several awkward collocations and grammatical forms reduce precision despite generally fluent, logical organisation. The highest-priority improvement is to refine word choice and sentence accuracy while making the final weighing of the two sides more explicitly comparative.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and both the principal advantage and disadvantage are relevant and well developed, although the comparative judgement could be more explicit.
Explain directly why the educational pressure carries more weight than the cognitive benefits instead of relying mainly on the conclusion to establish the comparison.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, with clear sequencing and generally effective cohesive devices.
Make the transition from evidence to evaluation more explicit so each example more clearly advances the overall comparison.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of topic-specific vocabulary, but several inaccurate or unnatural collocations reduce precision.
Choose more natural combinations for ideas such as academic burden, loss of interest, and language instruction, and avoid misused words such as dazzled.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex sentences is used successfully, though recurring errors in noun forms, prepositions, and tense control remain noticeable.
Proofread constructions such as seven-year-old sister and lost interest in going, while keeping narrative tenses consistent.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.