Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university?
Sample Response
Universities play a vital role in student’s education. There is a general belief that university provides the required ammunition for the students to get on with their career. However, it can also be argued that the university is another business model and should provide knowledge for its benefit. I think a university should service the society by creating better individuals than being money making organisation. The essay will analyse the individual and social benefits created by the university in support of its service to society. Firstly, personality development is of paramount importance to any student. For instance, a student from a reputed university like the University of Technology, Sydney has good exposure to interpersonal skills, soft skills and theoretical knowledge. These skills are vital for students to perform well at the workplace. Additionally, these skills will get campus placements before they can complete their degree. Thus, colleges providing appropriate environment and skill development will result in the production of individuals with the required talent in the professional career. Secondly, society benefits cannot be discounted in the context of university education. Creating individuals with better skills create a healthy society. For example, students completing their medicine degree with better communication and people skills create a society in which all the individuals who go to that doctor will be delighted. If all the people in the community possess the right level of expertise, especially the working professional with the college degree, then the country’s economy will have a positive growth. As you can see, there is a direct correlation between college infrastructure and the society health. In conclusion, university providing quality knowledge and platform for all-round development will aid the individuals and society to benefit out of it. I believe that there will be an increase in the number of students who attend a university that results in the better society.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. General plural Original: student’s education Suggested revision: students' education Why it matters: The sentence refers to students in general.
- 2. Article or plural Original: university provides Suggested revision: universities provide Why it matters: Use the plural for universities in general.
- 3. Inappropriate metaphor Original: required ammunition Suggested revision: necessary skills and knowledge Why it matters: "Ammunition" is too informal and metaphorical here.
- 4. Wrong verb Original: service the society Suggested revision: serve society Why it matters: Use the verb "serve," and no article is needed before "society."
- 5. Hyphen and article Original: money making organisation Suggested revision: a money-making organisation Why it matters: The countable noun needs an article and the compound adjective needs a hyphen.
- 6. Avoid announcing Original: The essay will analyse Suggested revision: This essay analyses Why it matters: The shorter form is more natural, though a direct thesis would be better.
- 7. Missing verb object Original: campus placements Suggested revision: help them obtain campus placements Why it matters: Skills do not "get" placements by themselves.
- 8. Article needed Original: colleges providing appropriate environment Suggested revision: colleges providing an appropriate environment Why it matters: A singular countable noun needs an article.
- 9. Possessive form Original: society benefits Suggested revision: society's benefits Why it matters: Use a possessive or rephrase as "benefits to society."
- 10. Agreement error Original: skills create a healthy society Suggested revision: skills creates a healthy society Why it matters: The gerund phrase "Creating individuals..." is singular.
- 11. Natural academic phrase Original: students completing their medicine degree Suggested revision: medical graduates Why it matters: This is more concise and natural.
- 12. Correct collocation Original: society health Suggested revision: society's health Why it matters: Use a possessive, though "social wellbeing" would be even better.
Suggested Rewrites
- student’s education students' education
- university provides universities provide
- required ammunition necessary skills and knowledge
- service the society serve society
- money making organisation a money-making organisation
- The essay will analyse This essay analyses
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay gives an opinion that universities should serve society by developing individuals, and it discusses workplace skills and social benefits. However, it partly misrepresents the second view as a business model, so the response does not fully address the contrast in the prompt.
Correctly frame the second view as knowledge for its own sake, then explain whether that or workplace preparation should be the main function.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a basic logical order, but the whole essay is presented as one block and some links between ideas are unclear.
Use clear paragraphs for introduction, workplace preparation, broader knowledge or social benefits, and conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient but uneven; some phrases are effective, while others are awkward or inappropriate for the meaning.
Replace metaphorical or inaccurate phrases with direct academic language, especially when describing university aims.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar errors with articles, agreement, word forms, and sentence structure are frequent and sometimes affect clarity.
Practise noun phrase control, especially singular/plural forms and articles before countable nouns.