Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university?
Sample Response
Currently, there are huge debates about the main purpose of educational institutions; such as their task should be to prepare students with knowledge and expertise for employer needs or prove graduates with access to the material for their own analysing. This essay will examine both sides of the argument and will highlight the most important task of universities. There is no doubt that graduates must be prepared to go to the work having the knowledge and skills of the field where they plan to start work. These will improve the quality of graduates’ work and give a good impression to the employer. Also, business will be benefitted from their new employees and will allow to an organisation to survive in the rapidly developing business environment. For example, it is highly important to have the necessary knowledge to work as an accountant, otherwise, a person would not know what to do, how to perform the tasks with requirements which later will be checked by auditors. If the work was not done without necessary accuracy, the company will face many problems with the government and tax officers. Therefore, I firmly believe that it is highly important for universities to teach their students the knowledge and skills, which are essential to the business. Despite these arguments, there is also a case for advocating that the main task of universities is to provide an access to the materials and other resources their students for their own learning and analysing. Indeed, I believe the access is extremely important, however, without teaching how appropriate to use these materials most of the students cannot do it in a proper way required by the employer. For instance, there are a lot of different examples of preparing financial statements, the way its look and only expert can say in which particular situations could be prepared, analysed and be used this way of preparation of financial statement or a different one as well as in what kind of area could be used. Having considered both sides of the issue, I would argue that although universities should provide an access to knowledge for their students, educational institutions should teach how to use, learn and analyse them.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Singular issue Original: there are huge debates Suggested revision: there is considerable debate Why it matters: This is a more formal and natural academic expression.
- 2. Wrong punctuation Original: educational institutions; such as Suggested revision: educational institutions, such as Why it matters: Such as should not be introduced by a semicolon here.
- 3. Clause structure Original: their task should be Suggested revision: whether their task should be Why it matters: The sentence needs whether to introduce the debate.
- 4. Wrong word Original: prove graduates with access Suggested revision: provide graduates with access Why it matters: The intended verb is provide, not prove.
- 5. Word form Original: for their own analysing Suggested revision: for their own analysis Why it matters: Use the noun analysis after own.
- 6. Article error Original: go to the work Suggested revision: go to work Why it matters: Work does not take the article here.
- 7. Awkward phrase Original: having the knowledge and skills of the field Suggested revision: with knowledge and skills in the field Why it matters: This preposition pattern is clearer.
- 8. Passive error Original: business will be benefitted Suggested revision: businesses will benefit Why it matters: Benefit is normally used as an intransitive verb here.
- 9. Verb pattern Original: will allow to an organisation Suggested revision: will allow an organisation Why it matters: Allow takes a direct object without to.
- 10. Sentence boundary Original: otherwise, a person would not know Suggested revision: otherwise a person would not know Why it matters: This should be joined smoothly or separated into a new sentence before otherwise.
- 11. Unclear wording Original: with requirements which later will be checked Suggested revision: according to standards that auditors will later check Why it matters: This makes the accounting example more precise.
- 12. Uncountable noun Original: provide an access Suggested revision: provide access Why it matters: Access is normally uncountable here and does not need an.
Suggested Rewrites
- there are huge debates there is considerable debate
- educational institutions; such as educational institutions, such as
- their task should be whether their task should be
- prove graduates with access provide graduates with access
- for their own analysing for their own analysis
- go to the work go to work
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay addresses both views and gives an opinion that workplace preparation should be the main function, but the second view is less clearly developed.
Explain the value of knowledge for its own sake before rejecting it or limiting it.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear overall direction, but paragraphing is absent and several long sentences weaken progression.
Use separate paragraphs for the two views and the final opinion, with one main point in each paragraph.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is relevant to education and employment, but there are inaccurate word choices and repeated phrases around access, materials, and business needs.
Use academic terms such as employability, independent inquiry, theoretical knowledge, practical training, and labour market.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent article, passive, and clause errors affect clarity, especially in long sentences.
Shorten complex sentences and check passive forms, articles, and relative clauses.