The number of people living in many cities is increasing at a fast pace. How does rapid population growth impact residents of these cities? What measures can be taken to preserve their quality of life?
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Sample Response
Sometimes , people with great social skills are more likely to achieve great success. ComparedCompare to people who only have a good degreegood degree , candidates with good social skills can talk easily with customers and work well with teammates . This happens because many jobs today need teamwork . If workers do not have social skills, they cannot collaborate effectivelywork nicely with other people, and they will find it hard to finish their tasks well. Thus, social skills should be attached to considerable importanceattached considerable importance
Nowadays, the number of people living in many cities is increasing at a fast pace. There are several impacts of this trend , such as traffic jamsas traffic jams and expensive housing. I believe that we need some measures to preserve the quality of life for residentsresident because rapid population growth brings many serious problems.
There are two main impacts of rapid population growth for city residents. First, when too many people move to cities, they will face traffic jams and air pollutiondirty air. In addition , many people need homes, so housing prices become very high . This can make people stressed and lower their overall well-beingtired and cause many problems in daily life. As a result , life in cities becomes more difficult.
Regarding measures to preserve their quality of lifeoife , I believe that we can take several actions. One important measure is that the government can build better public transport , such as buses and trainstrain . When they improve transport, people can travel easily. As a result, it can reduce traffic jams and air pollution. Therefore , residents can live more comfortably. DeleteConsequently , they can enjoy a better life. However, we also need other measures. For example, the government can build cheap houses for low-income earnerspoor workers so that they can find a good place to live easily.
In conclusion, rapid population growth bringsbring adverse effectsbad impacts like traffic jams and high housing costs. However, by building better public transport and cheap houses, we can protect and improve the quality of life for city residents
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response successfully addresses both prompt questions by outlining clear impacts of urban population growth and suggesting practical solutions. However, the inclusion of an entirely unrelated opening paragraph disrupts the essay's focus, and the main points rely on fairly simple development and repetitive linking words. Removing irrelevant text and expanding ideas with deeper explanation will significantly improve overall quality.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the prompt are directly addressed with clear main ideas regarding urban problems and potential solutions.
Remove completely off-topic material before submitting and elaborate further on how proposed measures directly resolve specific urban problems.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized into logical paragraphs with a clear overall progression, though cohesive devices are used somewhat mechanically.
Vary your transitional phrases to avoid repeating result connectors like 'As a result' and 'Consequently' in consecutive sentences.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is adequate to convey the main ideas clearly, despite some basic word choices and minor typos.
Incorporate more precise topic-specific collocations, such as 'affordable housing' instead of 'cheap houses' or 'environmental degradation' instead of 'dirty air'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, though minor grammatical mistakes in subject-verb agreement and noun plurals recur.
Proofread carefully to ensure plural nouns match their context and verbs agree consistently with singular subjects.