Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?
Sample Response
In the past animals were being used to travel which made the whole process quite difficult. However, at present majority of the individuals are travelling because of the new updated facilities being provided which made transport quite convenient and at the same time it provided an affordable package as well. In addition, the population is also being benefited as the method of travelling are being rapidly developed and comfortable along with the attracted packages providing them with an opportunity to discover a new place and interact with an individual with completely different tradition and along with that they can also enjoy tourism with cheaper flights as many affordable packages are currently present. To commence with, as with the development in technology made life much more easier than before, there is also a huge impact of it on transport as the population with average salary are given cheaper packages in order to enjoy their journey with their family. Similarly the workers in most of the field are being provided with a chance to travel abroad in order to represent their companies, which is quite helpful for them professionally and personally. Furthermore, there are many advantages of travelling like an individual can learn a foreign language, interact with other people of different cultures and tradition.Moreover, they can practice a foreign language and experience a totally different journey along with that they willbe also able to discover a new place To conclude, though only a few used to travel in the past due to less services being provided to them but recently a huge number of individuals are ready to go to a new place and travel for long hours in order to reach their desired goals
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add article and comma Original: at present majority Suggested revision: at present, the majority Why it matters: A comma is needed after the introductory phrase, and majority requires the definite article here.
- 2. Remove redundant adjective Original: new updated facilities Suggested revision: updated facilities Why it matters: New and updated repeat the same idea, so one adjective is sufficient.
- 3. Use present perfect Original: which made transport Suggested revision: which have made transport Why it matters: The relative clause refers to plural facilities and a continuing present result.
- 4. Fix pronoun and number Original: it provided an affordable package Suggested revision: they have also provided affordable packages Why it matters: The pronoun must refer to plural facilities, and the tense and noun number should match the general claim.
- 5. Use active construction Original: the population is also being benefited Suggested revision: people also benefit Why it matters: Benefit is more natural in the active voice when referring generally to people.
- 6. Fix number agreement Original: the method of travelling are Suggested revision: methods of travel are Why it matters: The plural verb are requires a plural subject, and travel is the more natural noun here.
- 7. Create parallel structure Original: being rapidly developed and comfortable Suggested revision: rapidly developing and becoming more comfortable Why it matters: Both coordinated descriptions need parallel verb forms.
- 8. Use correct adjective Original: attracted Suggested revision: attractive Why it matters: Attractive describes packages that appeal to travellers; attracted describes someone experiencing attraction.
- 9. Fix noun number Original: an individual with completely different tradition Suggested revision: individuals with completely different traditions Why it matters: The general reference requires plural nouns and a determiner before different.
- 10. Use natural collocation Original: enjoy tourism with cheaper flights Suggested revision: travel on cheaper flights Why it matters: People travel on flights; enjoy tourism with flights is not a natural collocation.
- 11. Use plural noun Original: the workers in most of the field Suggested revision: workers in most fields Why it matters: The general reference requires the plural fields and no definite article.
- 12. Use concise wording Original: being provided with a chance Suggested revision: given opportunities Why it matters: Given opportunities expresses the recurring professional possibility more naturally and concisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- at present majority at present, the majority
- new updated facilities updated facilities
- which made transport which have made transport
- it provided an affordable package they have also provided affordable packages
- the population is also being benefited people also benefit
- the method of travelling are methods of travel are
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response addresses both questions and offers several relevant reasons and benefits, with affordability and cultural contact emerging as its clearest ideas. Its main limitation is that these points are repeated or listed rather than developed, while very long sentences and missing paragraphing weaken clarity. The highest priority is to organise one developed paragraph for each question, using precise explanations and shorter, accurately punctuated sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are addressed with relevant ideas about easier transport, lower costs, work travel, and cultural learning, but support is brief and repetitive.
Develop one distinct reason for increased travel and one traveller benefit with a clear explanation and specific example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a recognisable introduction, sequence of ideas, and conclusion, but it is presented as one long paragraph with strained progression.
Divide the response into purposeful paragraphs and use shorter sentences with clearer links between each main idea.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary covers the topic adequately, but repeated wording and inaccurate combinations such as descriptions of packages and facilities reduce precision.
Replace repeated general terms with precise travel vocabulary and check word forms, plurals, and natural collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex structures, but frequent agreement, article, comparison, punctuation, and sentence-boundary errors sometimes hinder reading.
Prioritise complete, controlled sentences and proofread subject-verb agreement, articles, comparative forms, and punctuation.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.