Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?
Sample Response
It is believed that the travelling rate of people today is higher than ever. The following essay will discuss some of the factors which affect the situation and several advantages of the activity for the traveller.
There are various reasons why the travelling activities have increased significantly in the past recent years. Firstly, a lot of people travel intensively due to the existence of the low-cost airlines. It is a fact that budget airline companies such as Air Asia or Tiger Air are providing an affordable and economic ticket, therefore, people from a different range of income could purchase it. Secondly, many companies have increased their export and import activities due to the globalisation. As a result, their employees have to do excessive business trips to other regions or other continents. Thirdly, as business competition gets tougher each day, the stress level of the workers has risen. Consequently, the number of people who travel for leisure activities has grown rapidly in the past few years.
It is undeniable that travelling activities bring a lot of benefits for the travellers themselves. As people travel to another country, they would have the chance to learn a new culture. For example, many westerners have visited China, since they were attracted to see the unique culture of the ancient China civilisation such as the Great Wall of China or the Terracotta Army. Travelling also helps people in releasing their stress. It is obvious that people who live in big cities are stressed with their tight schedule and by taking some trips to the countryside; it will help them in loosen the tense.
In conclusion, it is true that travelling activities have increased rapidly in the past recent time, and people are travelling for various kinds of purposes. Some people are taking the trips for business activities, while others are for holiday. Travelling is also a positive activity since people could get a lot of benefits from doing the activity.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural travel rate Original: the travelling rate of people Suggested revision: the rate at which people travel Why it matters: The clause is the natural way to express how frequently people travel.
- 2. Specify trend drivers Original: factors which affect the situation Suggested revision: factors driving this trend Why it matters: The revision identifies the rising travel trend directly and concisely.
- 3. Use uncountable travel noun Original: the travelling activities have increased Suggested revision: travel has increased Why it matters: “Travel” is the natural uncountable noun for this general activity.
- 4. Remove redundant time words Original: in the past recent years Suggested revision: in recent years Why it matters: “Past” and “recent” conflict and are redundant together.
- 5. Use frequency adverb Original: intensively Suggested revision: frequently Why it matters: “Frequently” describes how often people travel; “intensively” does not.
- 6. Use availability phrase Original: due to the existence of the low-cost airlines Suggested revision: because of the availability of low-cost airlines Why it matters: The revision expresses access to budget flights naturally and removes unnecessary articles.
- 7. Remove unnecessary article Original: due to the globalisation Suggested revision: due to globalisation Why it matters: The uncountable general noun “globalisation” does not take “the.”
- 8. Use business trip collocation Original: do excessive business trips Suggested revision: make frequent business trips Why it matters: People “make” business trips, and “frequent” describes their number more naturally than “excessive.”
- 9. Use plural general reference Original: the stress level of the workers Suggested revision: stress levels among workers Why it matters: The general claim concerns multiple workers and their individual stress levels.
- 10. Use uncountable activity noun Original: travelling activities bring Suggested revision: travelling brings Why it matters: The activity “travelling” is uncountable and takes the singular verb “brings.”
- 11. Fix benefit preposition Original: benefits for the travellers themselves Suggested revision: benefits to travellers Why it matters: An activity brings benefits “to” people, and the reflexive emphasis is unnecessary.
- 12. Use present result tense Original: they would have the chance Suggested revision: they have the chance Why it matters: The sentence states a general present result, so “have” is appropriate.
Suggested Rewrites
- the travelling rate of people the rate at which people travel
- factors which affect the situation factors driving this trend
- the travelling activities have increased travel has increased
- in the past recent years in recent years
- intensively frequently
- due to the existence of the low-cost airlines because of the availability of low-cost airlines
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response answers both questions directly, offering several plausible reasons for increased travel and relevant personal benefits in a clear overall structure. Its main limitation is that development remains somewhat general, while repeated collocational and grammatical errors make the language less natural. The highest priority is to explain the causal links and benefits more precisely while editing recurring article, agreement, and sentence-structure problems.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both causes and traveller benefits are clearly covered with relevant examples, although some points could be explained in greater depth.
Extend each main benefit by explaining specifically how the traveller changes or gains from the experience.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a clear question-based structure with logical paragraph progression, though some linking is formulaic and repetitive.
Use more varied referencing and connect supporting examples explicitly to the main idea of each paragraph.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, but recurring repetition and inaccurate collocations reduce naturalness and precision.
Replace phrases such as "travelling activities," "past recent years," and "loosen the tense" with concise, idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex sentences, but frequent errors with articles, agreement, prepositions, punctuation, and clause structure remain noticeable.
Edit each complex sentence for a clear subject and finite verb, then check articles and prepositions phrase by phrase.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.