Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?
Sample Response
The buzzword of the today's generation is definitely travelling. If you ask anyone “would you like to travel?”; s/he would be ready to travel irrespective of their personal factors. Why this is so? Why are more and more people nowadays travelling frequently than before? Well, this has several benefits which we will discuss in this essay. Globalisation, technological advancement, cheap air ticket, the internet, more business needs etc. are the main reasons people are travelling more. The governments of many countries have taken initiatives to expand the tourism of their own countries and due to the easy access of information nowadays, more and more people plan to visit those tourist spots. For site seeing, business needs, migration and personal reasons people are travelling more these days. Firstly, despite the fact that travelling burns a hole in our pocket, it gives us once in a life time experience. A recent example of it would be, a month ago I went for trekking with my family in Manali and Shimla for a two week’s holiday. The experience I had during my trip was surreal. I just recall memories every now and then. Secondly, travelling alone to a new place not only makes us fearless but also brings a lot of changes in one's perspective and thought process. A good example of this would be my trip to a native’s place a year ago. Though I have been there since my childhood, this was the first time I was travelling alone. After that trip, I have become much more mature. In addition to this, my fear of long distance travelling is not my phobia anymore. Thirdly, travelling is also considered as a healer for those who are busy in their life either physically or mentally. For instance, my neighbour's trip to Goa has turned their family's fortune into new leaf as they have started living happily and peacefully now. This was not the scenario before, as both of them had frequent fights between them and they were on the verge of divorce a month ago. To sum up, travelling is a kind of experience which has several pros of it and it has become more popular than ever. If we sit and make note of travelling, the beautiful memories flash back and give us pleasant feelings.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove extra article Original: the today's generation Suggested revision: today's generation Why it matters: The possessive determiner already specifies the noun, so the article is ungrammatical.
- 2. Use natural pronoun Original: s/he Suggested revision: they Why it matters: Singular “they” is clearer and more natural in contemporary formal English.
- 3. Clarify vague wording Original: irrespective of their personal factors Suggested revision: regardless of their personal circumstances Why it matters: “Personal circumstances” expresses the intended idea more precisely than “personal factors.”
- 4. Remove conversational filler Original: Well, Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This conversational filler weakens the formal tone of the essay.
- 5. Use plural noun Original: ticket Suggested revision: tickets Why it matters: The countable noun needs a plural form when referring to cheap fares generally.
- 6. Improve collocation Original: more business needs Suggested revision: increased business demands Why it matters: “More business needs” is an unnatural collocation for growing work-related travel.
- 7. Improve tourism phrase Original: expand the tourism of their own countries Suggested revision: expand tourism in their own countries Why it matters: Tourism is expanded within a country rather than described as belonging to it.
- 8. Hyphenate modifier Original: once in a life time experience Suggested revision: a once-in-a-lifetime experience Why it matters: The phrase needs an article and hyphens when it modifies “experience.”
- 9. Fix example structure Original: A recent example of it would be, Suggested revision: A recent example is that Why it matters: The original phrase cannot introduce the following independent clause with a comma.
- 10. Use natural collocation Original: went for trekking Suggested revision: went trekking Why it matters: English uses “go trekking” without the preposition “for.”
- 11. Use concise collocation Original: brings a lot of changes in one's perspective Suggested revision: significantly changes one's perspective Why it matters: The revision expresses the change more directly and naturally.
- 12. Clarify destination Original: my trip to a native’s place Suggested revision: my trip to my native place Why it matters: The possessive “a native’s” leaves the destination and person unclear.
Suggested Rewrites
- the today's generation today's generation
- s/he they
- irrespective of their personal factors regardless of their personal circumstances
- Well, Delete
- ticket tickets
- more business needs increased business demands
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response addresses both parts of the question and supports several benefits with clear personal examples, giving it a generally purposeful structure. Its main limitation is that the reasons for increased travel are mostly listed rather than developed, while frequent awkward collocations and grammatical slips reduce precision. The priority is to explain two or three causes in greater depth and edit sentences for natural word combinations and accurate forms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered, and the benefits are illustrated, but the causes of increased travel are presented mainly as a list with limited development.
Develop two key causes through clear explanation and consequences instead of briefly naming many different reasons.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses from causes to three benefits in a broadly logical sequence, although some paragraphing and transitions feel mechanical.
Group the causes into a fully developed body paragraph and use links that show the precise relationship between ideas.
Lexical Resource
There is enough range to discuss travel experiences and personal change, but recurring inaccurate collocations and word forms weaken precision.
Replace awkward combinations such as expressions about phobias, fortune, and lifetime experiences with natural, context-appropriate phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the message clearly, despite frequent errors in articles, possessives, agreement, and sentence construction.
Proofread systematically for article use, plural forms, possessives, and complete clause structures after drafting.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.