Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
The question of how much information relevant to various areas of scientific and academic research should be shared is becoming more and more important as the pace of technological innovation quickens and the internet allows for instant collaboration. In my opinion, information is a valuable, potentially dangerous asset and should only be shared freely in particular circumstances.
Advocates of freely sharing information rightly argue that collaboration leads to faster results. This applies to scientists, who can help each by offering their individual research results, businesses, which can work together as long as they are not competitors on advertising or product development, as well as academics, who need fresh perspectives to push their work to higher plateaus. Take for example the potential for sharing information in the business world. Google has built their successful advertising business by working together with various companies and sharing information. Google collects a variety of statistics related to users including their location and interests. This information is shared with advertisers who can then better target ads for users. It allows the consumer to see more relevant products and services and the companies advertising to target their audience more efficiently.
While there are decided advantages like the one mentioned above, information is still a valuable asset that individuals and companies should safeguard. In a perfect world, we might expect people to openly share everything they know but the social and economic constructions of our actual world make this a naive proposition. One interesting example of this is from a recent news article about Elon Musk where he explained why his rocket company SpaceX does not apply for patents on any new technology. He reasoned that his main competitors are governments, not private companies. If his company discloses its innovations then domestic and foreign governments can take advantage of the shared technology and potentially disrupt his business. This is just one example of how sharing can prove damaging in a capitalist society.
In conclusion, though sharing might be a valid standpoint in a perfect world, it is not feasible under current global conditions. Instead of looking to increase sharing, governments should do more to support innovative companies and researchers. This will have a larger overall impact.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Complete reciprocal phrase Original: help each Suggested revision: help each other Why it matters: The reciprocal expression requires “other” after “each.”
- 2. Correct competition preposition Original: on Suggested revision: in Why it matters: “Competitors in” is the appropriate collocation for fields of activity.
- 3. Use natural academic wording Original: plateaus Suggested revision: levels Why it matters: “Higher levels” expresses progress more naturally in this academic context.
- 4. Match company pronoun Original: their Suggested revision: its Why it matters: The singular company name takes the possessive pronoun “its.”
- 5. Set off examples Original: users including Suggested revision: users, including Why it matters: A comma should introduce the examples of user statistics.
- 6. Correct verb collocation Original: for Suggested revision: at Why it matters: Advertisements are conventionally targeted “at” an audience.
- 7. Use natural collocation Original: decided Suggested revision: clear Why it matters: “Clear advantages” is a more natural collocation for evident benefits.
- 8. Choose precise noun Original: constructions Suggested revision: structures Why it matters: “Structures” accurately refers to established social and economic systems.
- 9. Use correct relative form Original: article about Elon Musk where Suggested revision: article about Elon Musk in which Why it matters: An article is not a place, so “in which” is the correct relative form.
- 10. Punctuate conditional clause Original: discloses its innovations then Suggested revision: discloses its innovations, then Why it matters: A comma should separate the initial conditional clause from its result.
- 11. Clarify abstract wording Original: valid standpoint Suggested revision: reasonable principle Why it matters: “Reasonable principle” better describes the ideal of sharing information.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: It allows the consumer to see more relevant products and services and the companies advertising to target their audience more efficiently. Suggested revision: It allows consumers to see more relevant products and services while enabling advertisers to target their audience more efficiently. Why it matters: This rewrite creates clear parallel relationships between the two benefits.
Suggested Rewrites
- help each help each other
- on in
- plateaus levels
- their its
- users including users, including
- for at
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear, consistent position and develops both perspectives with specific, well-integrated examples, while its logical paragraphing and flexible language make the argument easy to follow. Its main limitation is occasional imprecision in phrasing and a somewhat narrow treatment of free sharing outside the business context. The best improvement would be to sharpen collocations and develop the scientific or academic dimension with equal specificity.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear opinion are addressed directly, with relevant explanations and specific examples that are well developed.
Develop the scientific or academic side with the same specificity as the business examples to make the coverage even more comprehensive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices generally connect claims, explanations, and examples naturally.
Use slightly more varied internal transitions so that the movement between general claims and examples feels fully seamless.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary supports nuanced discussion, although a few collocations such as higher plateaus and competitors on advertising sound unnatural.
Replace occasional over-elaborate or imprecise collocations with more idiomatic academic phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a broad range of complex structures with strong control, and the few errors do not impede meaning.
Proofread for isolated agreement and omission errors, such as help each and Google has built their successful advertising business.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.