Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
The question of where children learn to become responsible members of society - at home or school, has sparked heated debate for generations. Some argue that parents, as the primary caregivers, hold the ultimate responsibility for shaping their children's moral compass. Others believe that schools provide the ideal platform for fostering social responsibility. I believe that schools play a more crucial role in instilling a sense of civic duty and social awareness in children.
Proponents of parental influence point to the undeniable impact of early childhood experiences. Parents set the first examples of behaviour and interaction, and their values and actions are readily absorbed by their children. For instance, parents who actively participate in community service projects are more likely to raise children who are empathetic and engaged in social causes. Additionally, parents can tailor their teachings to each child's individual needs and personality, leading to a more personalized and effective approach.
On the contrary, proponents of teachers guiding young children to become responsible citizens argue that schools offer several unique advantages that are difficult to replicate within the home environment. Firstly, schools provide a diverse social setting where children interact with individuals from various backgrounds and perspectives. This fosters tolerance, understanding, and the ability to navigate diverse social situations, which are crucial for responsible citizenship in a multicultural world. Secondly, schools employ trained professionals who possess expertise in child development and social-emotional learning. These educators can implement structured programmes and activities designed to explicitly teach social responsibility, including conflict resolution, empathy building, and ethical decision-making.
In conclusion, while parents undoubtedly play an important role in shaping their children's values, schools offer a unique and crucial environment for instilling a sense of social responsibility.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Punctuate inserted alternatives Original: society - at home or school, has Suggested revision: society—at home or at school—has Why it matters: Paired dashes correctly enclose the alternatives, and parallel prepositions clarify them.
- 2. Moderate responsibility claim Original: hold the ultimate responsibility Suggested revision: hold primary responsibility Why it matters: “Primary” expresses the leading parental role without the unnecessary absolute force of “ultimate.”
- 3. Use educational setting term Original: provide the ideal platform Suggested revision: provide an ideal setting Why it matters: A school is more naturally described as a setting than a platform in this context.
- 4. Use direct comparison Original: crucial Suggested revision: important Why it matters: “More important” expresses the comparison clearly and naturally.
- 5. Use natural guidance noun Original: teachings Suggested revision: guidance Why it matters: “Guidance” describes parents' individualised moral instruction more naturally than “teachings.”
- 6. Use comparison transition Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: The paragraph presents the alternative view rather than directly contradicting the preceding evidence.
- 7. Condense school-view label Original: proponents of teachers guiding young children to become responsible citizens Suggested revision: advocates of school-based civic education Why it matters: The concise noun phrase identifies the opposing position without a long embedded clause.
- 8. Use concise sequence marker Original: Firstly Suggested revision: First Why it matters: The shorter transition introduces the first school-based advantage directly.
- 9. Avoid repeated diverse Original: diverse Suggested revision: varied Why it matters: The alternative adjective removes nearby repetition while preserving the meaning.
- 10. Use concise teaching phrase Original: designed to explicitly teach Suggested revision: designed to teach explicitly Why it matters: The revision places the manner adverb after the verb for smoother formal phrasing.
Suggested Rewrites
- society - at home or school, has society—at home or at school—has
- hold the ultimate responsibility hold primary responsibility
- provide the ideal platform provide an ideal setting
- crucial important
- teachings guidance
- On the contrary By contrast
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear, well-supported preference for schools while giving balanced and relevant consideration to parental influence, and its language is consistently fluent and precise. Its main limitation is that the comparative case for schools is implied more than explicitly weighed against the distinctive strengths of parents. The highest-priority improvement is to sharpen that comparison by explaining why schools’ advantages ultimately carry greater weight.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are developed with relevant support, and the preference for schools remains clear throughout.
Make the final judgement more analytical by directly comparing why schools’ strengths outweigh parents’ personalised influence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used accurately and unobtrusively overall.
Replace the slightly awkward transition “On the contrary” with wording that introduces the alternative view without implying a direct contradiction.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary conveys social, educational, and ethical ideas naturally.
Refine a few conventional phrases so that the otherwise sophisticated language sounds fully natural rather than formulaic.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is handled with strong control, and errors are rare and non-impeding.
Correct the punctuation and clause structure in the opening sentence to remove the awkward interruption around “at home or school”.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.