Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Who should impart the values and skills necessary for children to become responsible members of society is a topic that remains contentious. This essay will explore the contrasting perspectives on whether parents or schools hold the primary responsibility for instilling these qualities. Personally, I opine that while schools play a role, parents should predominantly undertake the task of teaching children how to be ideal members of society.
Proponents of the idea that schools should bear this responsibility highlight the structured educational environment as an ideal setting for cultivating social values. Schools provide a formal curriculum that includes moral education programmes and extracurricular activities promoting teamwork and social harmony. Through these activities and moral education, teachers in school can teach children to become responsible citizens. For instance, through civic education courses or community service initiatives, schools often succeed in instilling the values and responsibility of citizens among children.
On the contrary, advocates of the viewpoint that parents should impart societal values argue that family influences are crucial in shaping a child's character. Parents serve as the primary role models, imparting moral values, empathy, and social etiquette through everyday interactions. As children spend most of their time with their parents and often imitate their behaviours, they are more influential in teaching children morality and responsibilities. For instance, many research outcomes demonstrate that children observe and imitate the behaviour of their parents, learning essential traits like respect, kindness, and responsibility if parents possess those qualities.
I believe that, while schools undeniably contribute to a child's social development, parents should play the central role in teaching children how to be good members of society. The familial environment offers continuous and personalized guidance crucial for character development. Parents serve as constant influencers, shaping a child's worldview and moral compass from an early age and providing a strong foundation for their role in society.
In conclusion, the debate surrounding the role of parents versus schools in shaping good citizens highlights the significance of both influences. Nevertheless, the enduring and personalized guidance provided by parents creates a substantial impact on a child's development into a responsible and contributing member of society.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural stance language Original: opine Suggested revision: believe Why it matters: “I believe” expresses the writer’s position more naturally in this context.
- 2. Make the claim concise Original: predominantly undertake the task of teaching Suggested revision: take primary responsibility for teaching Why it matters: The revision removes wordiness while preserving the stated priority.
- 3. Remove redundant wording Original: teachers in school Suggested revision: teachers Why it matters: The institutional setting is already clear from the paragraph’s subject.
- 4. Use an accurate contrast Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: The paragraph presents the alternative view rather than directly disproving the previous one.
- 5. Use a natural noun phrase Original: family influences are crucial Suggested revision: family influence is crucial Why it matters: The singular mass-noun phrase is more natural for the general effect of family life.
- 6. Use parallel concepts Original: morality and responsibilities Suggested revision: moral values and responsibility Why it matters: The revised nouns form a clearer and more natural pair.
- 7. Use research naturally Original: many research outcomes Suggested revision: much research Why it matters: “Research” is normally uncountable when referring generally to a body of studies.
- 8. Clarify the condition Original: if parents possess those qualities Suggested revision: when parents demonstrate those qualities Why it matters: “When” better connects parental modelling with the observed learning described in the sentence.
- 9. Use the standard collocation Original: creates Suggested revision: has Why it matters: English normally uses “have an impact” rather than “create an impact.”
- 10. Frame the comparison clearly Original: the role of parents versus schools Suggested revision: whether parents or schools should take the leading role Why it matters: This wording states the debated choice more directly.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: Who should impart the values and skills necessary for children to become responsible members of society is a topic that remains contentious. Suggested revision: The question of who should impart the values and skills children need to become responsible members of society remains contentious. Why it matters: The rewrite replaces the awkward embedded-question subject with a clearer noun phrase.
Suggested Rewrites
- opine believe
- predominantly undertake the task of teaching take primary responsibility for teaching
- teachers in school teachers
- On the contrary By contrast
- family influences are crucial family influence is crucial
- morality and responsibilities moral values and responsibility
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay fully discusses both views, maintains a clear preference for parental responsibility, and develops each side through relevant mechanisms and examples. Its strongest feature is the controlled, logical progression from institutional teaching to continuous family influence. The main limitation is occasional repetition and slightly unnatural phrasing; the best refinement is to make the comparison more concise and sharpen a few collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are thoroughly addressed and the preference for parents is clear, consistent, and supported by relevant explanation.
Deepen the comparison by acknowledging one limitation of parental guidance or one circumstance in which schools may be more effective.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and progression are highly controlled, with each section serving a clear role and the opinion reinforced consistently.
Reduce the separate opinion paragraph's repetition of the parents paragraph by using it for direct comparison and synthesis.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is broad and precise overall, though phrases such as research outcomes, responsibility of citizens, and creates a substantial impact are slightly unnatural.
Use more idiomatic forms such as research findings, civic responsibility, and has a substantial impact.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, with only rare minor awkwardness that does not impede communication.
Refine parallel structures and pronoun reference when comparing the influence of parents with that of schools.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.