Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Teaching children how to become responsible members of society is a crucial part of their development. While some argue that parents should take primary responsibility for this, others believe that schools play a more significant role. This essay will discuss both perspectives. However, I firmly believe that schools are the most effective place for children to learn societal values because they provide a structured learning environment and offer exposure to diverse social interactions.
On the one hand, some people believe that parents should be responsible for teaching social values to their children. Since parents spend the most time with their children, they have the opportunity to instil moral values and discipline in them from an early age. Moreover, children often imitate the behaviours of their parents, making parental guidance crucial in shaping their ethical and social beliefs. For example, a child who grows up in a household where honesty and kindness are emphasized is more likely to develop a strong moral character.
On the other hand, schools are structured institutions designed to educate children, not only academically but also socially. Schools expose students to diverse social settings where they interact with peers from different backgrounds, allowing them to develop essential social skills such as cooperation, respect, and tolerance. Additionally, subjects like civic education and ethics formally teach children about societal norms, legal responsibilities, and good citizenship. For instance, many schools incorporate community service projects, where students participate in activities that promote social responsibility, such as volunteering at shelters or organizing environmental clean-up drives. Since not all parents have the time, knowledge, or teaching skills required to provide comprehensive social education, schools with the advantages of formal teaching settings and structured education facilities, are better suited for this responsibility.
In conclusion, while parents undoubtedly play an important role in shaping their children's character, schools are the most effective place to teach social responsibility. The structured curriculum, diverse interactions, and dedicated programs in schools ensure that children develop the necessary values and skills to become responsible members of society.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise development phrase Original: a crucial part of their development Suggested revision: an essential aspect of their development Why it matters: “Aspect” describes one dimension of children's development more precisely than “part.”
- 2. Use responsibility collocation Original: take Suggested revision: bear Why it matters: “Bear responsibility” is the conventional formal collocation.
- 3. Fix plural setting phrase Original: I firmly believe that schools are the most effective place for children Suggested revision: I firmly believe that schools provide the most effective setting for children Why it matters: Plural schools collectively provide a setting rather than constitute one singular place.
- 4. Use natural object order Original: teaching social values to their children Suggested revision: teaching their children social values Why it matters: With “teach,” the person receiving instruction naturally precedes the subject taught.
- 5. Fix adjective complement Original: in Suggested revision: to Why it matters: The adjective “crucial” takes “to” before a gerund in this construction.
- 6. Use formal relative phrase Original: a household where honesty and kindness Suggested revision: a household in which honesty and kindness Why it matters: “In which” states the relationship between the qualities and the household more formally.
- 7. Use precise relative phrase Original: diverse social settings where they interact Suggested revision: diverse social settings in which they interact Why it matters: “In which” clearly links the interactions to the social settings.
- 8. Use formal example marker Original: subjects like civic education and ethics Suggested revision: subjects such as civic education and ethics Why it matters: “Such as” is more appropriate than conversational “like” when introducing examples.
- 9. Use setting precisely Original: schools are the most effective place to teach Suggested revision: schools provide the most effective setting for teaching Why it matters: The replacement avoids treating multiple schools as one singular place.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Since not all parents have the time, knowledge, or teaching skills required to provide comprehensive social education, schools with the advantages of formal teaching settings and structured education facilities, are better suited for this responsibility. Suggested revision: Since not all parents have the time, knowledge, or skills to provide comprehensive social education, schools are better suited to this responsibility because they offer formal instruction and structured educational facilities. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the misplaced comma and clarifies the relationship between the comparison and its reasons.
Suggested Rewrites
- a crucial part of their development an essential aspect of their development
- take bear
- I firmly believe that schools are the most effective place for children I firmly believe that schools provide the most effective setting for children
- teaching social values to their children teaching their children social values
- in to
- a household where honesty and kindness a household in which honesty and kindness
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response’s strongest feature is its thorough, well-organised treatment of both perspectives, with a clear preference for schools supported by relevant examples. Its main limitation is that the case for schools is more extensively developed than the parental view, making the comparison slightly uneven. To improve further, extend the parental perspective or more explicitly compare the unique contribution of each setting before confirming why schools should take primary responsibility.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are directly addressed, the opinion is clear throughout, and the main ideas are well developed with relevant explanations and examples.
Sharpen the evaluation by comparing which social values parents and schools are uniquely equipped to teach rather than only listing each setting’s strengths.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is purposeful, ideas progress logically, and cohesive devices are varied and generally unobtrusive.
Break up the final long sentence of the third paragraph so the contrast between parental limitations and school advantages remains immediately clear.
Lexical Resource
A broad and precise vocabulary range supports nuanced discussion of moral values, social interaction, citizenship, and educational settings.
Reduce minor repetition of “structured” and “social” by selecting context-specific alternatives where they add precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used flexibly and accurately, with only rare punctuation or sentence-control lapses.
Remove the unnecessary comma separating the subject from the verb in the sentence beginning “Since not all parents” and streamline that clause.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.