Some people think that it is a good idea for people to continue working in their old age.
Sample Response
Some people believe that it is a good idea for people to continue working in their old age. I largely agree, because this gives elderly people a meaningful wayelder people ways to spend their time and gives them some economic supportecnomic helps. However, we must also considerBut we still need to notice the balance of the number of employees of young people and elder people in the companies.
To begin with, it is a great way for elder people to spend their time. In other wordsword, if people continue working in their old ageages, they will have a goal for their days, they know what to do. For example, if elder people retireretired at home without a job, they might just watch TV or sleep all dayall the day. This is not only very boring for the old people, but also bad for their health, due to a prolonged lack of exercisedue to long time lacking excersice. Besides, working can also give elder people salaries. Elder people can just use this money to improve their life qualities, rangingrange from what they wear to what they eat. All in all, there are many benefits for people to continue working in their old age.
However, there is also a problem that if there are more and more elder people continue working in their old age, how will young people find jobs?keep working in their old age, how young people will find their jobs? For example, a company has 3000 employees, and the total number of that won't change. When there are more and more elder people, it become harder and harderharde for the young people to enter the companyto go to the company, because the total number of the employees won't change. But this problem is much easiereasiser to solve. If the company can provide more jobs, or they can divide their jobs into two types, one for elder people, and the other for young people. This problem can be solvedsloved easily.
In conclusion, I largely agree that it is a great idea for people to continue working in their old age, which can not only provide them with a way to spend their time, but also can give them some extra money to improve their life qualities, as longsoon as we can balance the number of employees of young people and elder people in companies.
Why this response received Band 6.0
文章结构完整且立论清晰，成功回应了高龄人士继续工作的利弊与应对策略。主要不足在于部分拼写与语法细节不够准确，且论据的深入度与表达丰富度仍有提升空间。建议未来加强词汇拼写检查，并多使用多样的句型与地道的动词搭配来增强说服力。
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
任务回应
立场明确且贯穿全文，对老龄工作者的好处以及对青年就业的影响均有涉及与讨论。
建议对解决青年就业竞争的方案进行更具现实可行性的深入论述，使论证更加严密。
连贯与衔接
文章分段合理，整体行文逻辑清晰，但在衔接词的使用上略显重复与机械。
可以尝试更多样自然的段落过渡词，替换如 'In other word' 或 'All in all' 等较基础或使用不当的衔接短语。
词汇资源
词汇量能基本满足写作需求，但存在多处拼写错误且词汇层级较为基础。
注意修正如 'ecnomic'、'excersice'、'sloved' 等拼写错误，并积累更高阶的同义替换词汇。
语法多样性与准确性
能够使用多种句式结构表达观点，但表达中存在较多语法小错和不地道的句式表达。
重点练习从句与介词短语的正确搭配，减少如 'harder and harde' 以及词性误用等低级语法失误。
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that it is a good idea for people to continue working in their old age.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.