Some people believe that it is a good idea to continue to work at their old age. Do you agree or disagree?

Same questionCompare 4 different answers (Band 7.5–8)

Sample Response

1

As the average lifespan is growing longer across the globe, some people are seeking rearrangement of lives and consider working at an old age as a good choice. From my perspective, such an ideasuch idea, if put into practice, is harmful to both themselves and the whole society, despite the few benefitsfew benefits it may bring.

2

The argument in favor of such proposal is that working outside instead of staying at home to spend decades of retirement gives old people more opportunities to stay linked to the mainstreammain society, and the labor required in the job also provides a chance for them to keep moving. It is true that people who retire often suffer from social and physical problems such as lonelinesslonliness and bone weakness due to less attachment to the outside world and insufficient physical activities. Therefore, it seems reasonable to some extent that working at an old age is a good choice.

3

However, what this idea overlooks is the limited capability of old people and the consequencessubsequence it brings to the job market and the whole society. Although the development of medicine and overall enhancement of education makes old people today much healthier than before, they can still in no way be physically and intellectually paralleled by their younger counterparts. Nevertheless, companies will notwon't ease the workload and reduce working hoursshorten the workload just because the employees are old. As a consequence, doing jobs that are designed for young people's durability can put a great burden on old people's bodiesbody, whereby aggravating their health problems that have already accumulated for decades, and far exceeding the possible benefits they can get from physically moving.

4

What's worse, involving old people in the job market also posespose a great threat to young people and the whole society. Young people usually don't have much savings and are eager to get a job in order to earnkeep a basic living. With so many old competitors in the job market, they will have much fewer job opportunities and lower salaries even if they get one. Hence, such disruption will add to the survival stress of the overall society, with graduates unable to pay rent and middle-aged men incapable of feeding their families.

5

In conclusion, considering the disadvantages that outweigh the advantages, it is not a good idea to make people work at such an old age at which they are supposed to retire and rest.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 8.0

The essay presents a well-developed argument with a clear position, logical structure, and strong support throughout all body paragraphs. The primary limitation lies in occasional minor word choice errors and a subject-verb agreement slip that slightly detract from the otherwise sophisticated language control. To improve, focus on refining word collocations and carefully proofreading subject-verb agreement in complex sentences.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

8.0
Scoring rule

The response fully addresses the prompt with a clear, consistent position and well-supported main ideas regarding the drawbacks of elderly employment.

Next step

Ensure all concession points remain distinctly connected to your central thesis without over-expanding on opposing arguments.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

8.0
Scoring rule

The essay is logically organized into distinct body paragraphs with smooth progression and clear cohesive transitions.

Next step

Vary cohesive structures slightly to avoid repeating similar transitional phrases across adjacent paragraphs.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.5
Scoring rule

A wide range of vocabulary is used naturally and flexibly, though a few minor word choice and spelling inaccuracies are present.

Next step

Review imprecise word selections, such as using 'subsequence' instead of 'consequences' or 'shorten' with 'workload'.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

8.0
Scoring rule

Grammar and sentence structures display wide variety and strong control, with only rare minor agreement errors.

Next step

Double-check subject-verb agreement when using gerund phrases as subjects, such as ensuring 'involving old people... poses' takes a singular verb.

Put the feedback to work

Write this task while it is fresh

Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.

IELTS Writing Task 2

Some people believe that it is a good idea to continue to work at their old age. Do you agree or disagree?

Your response

Words0
40:00

Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.