The pie chart gives information about the country of birth of people living in Australia, and the table shows where people born in these countries live.
Sample Response
The pie chart illustrates the countries of birthcountry of born of people residing in Australia and the table shows whetherdepicts that where people live in rural areas or citiesa rural area or cities area for people born in these countriesdepending on the birth of these countries. Overall, Australia is the country of birth for the largest proportion of residentshighest leading country. At the same time, the Netherlands is the country of birth for the smallest proportion of residentsleast country with the birth of people living, and Deleteon the other hand, the majority of people livedpreferred to live in cities ratherarea than in rural areas.
To begin with, China which is accounted for 2% of the birth people in that 99% of the people liked to live in an urban area, and just only 1% lived in rural areas. Whereas, Netherland with just 1% of people’s birth in which 90% of people resides in Cities and only 10% lived in rural areas.
In New Zealand, 80% of people live in urban areas, the lowest figure among the five countrieswhich is the lowest compared to other countries, while 20% of people live in ruralvillage areas, the highest proportionnumber of people living among the countries shownwith respect to other countries. In Australia, 73% of births of people living in Australia in which 83% live in Cities while 17% live in rural areas.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies the dominant Australian-born group and the consistent preference for city living, while most figures it reports match the visuals. Its main limitation is incomplete coverage of the pie chart, particularly the omitted UK and other categories, alongside persistently awkward language. The highest-priority improvement is to select the missing major comparisons and express them in concise, grammatically controlled data sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview captures two key trends and the reported figures are accurate, but the UK and other birth categories are omitted and the pie chart is only partly developed.
Include the UK's 7% share, the 14% other category, and concise comparisons covering all five city-rural distributions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has an identifiable overview and detail paragraphs, but grouping is uneven and several connectors introduce fragments or awkward relationships.
Group pie-chart proportions in one paragraph and city-rural comparisons in another, using complete sentences and fewer mechanical linkers.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to communicate the main data, but frequent collocation and word-form errors make descriptions imprecise and repetitive.
Use accurate phrases such as country of birth, proportion of residents, urban areas, accounted for, and were born in.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors with clause construction, agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries reduce clarity, although the main meaning remains recoverable.
Build shorter sentences around one comparison at a time and check subject-verb agreement before combining ideas with while or whereas.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie chart gives information about the country of birth of people living in Australia, and the table shows where people born in these countries live.
Your response
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