The bar chart below illustrates five different industries’ percentage share of Brazil’s economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029.
Sample Response
The bar chart shows the actual and projected share of Brazil's economy accounted for byshare of the economy of Brazil held by the five key business sectors for the years 2009, 2019 and 2029. Beginning with the real figures, the sectors that saw growth between 2009 and 2019 wereare Finance, Oil, coal and gasFossil Fuels and Food Processing with rises of around five percentage points for the first two5 percent for the two former and around 10% for the latter. However, both Tourism and Manufacturing saw falls of around 5% for that period. Turning next to the projected figures for 2029, only the Finance sector is predicted to see continued growtha continued growth in 2029, again by five percentage pointsagain by 5%. Of the remaining sectors, tourism stays at 2019 levels with around 21% and both Food Processing and Oil, Coal and Gas return to 2009 levels (11 and 26% respectively). Meanwhile, Manufacturing sees a further drop in its share, falling by a further 11 percentage pointsa further 10 percent to around 5 percent. Overall, for the period covered, the Finance sector stands out in terms of having the largest share of Brazil’sbrazil’s economy and its share shows continued growth. The sector with the largest declineThe big loser is manufacturing, which starts as the second-smallest sectorjoint smallest sector and sees both real and projected falls.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a detailed, mostly precise account of the changes across all five industries, with particularly effective use of figures and comparisons. Its main limitation is the inaccurate overview claim that manufacturing begins as the joint-smallest sector, together with presentation as one continuous paragraph. The highest-priority improvement is to verify every overview statement against the chart and separate the overview from the supporting detail.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report selects all major trends and supports them with accurate figures, apart from misidentifying manufacturing as joint-smallest in 2009.
Check category rankings carefully before writing the overview so that every broad comparison is fully accurate.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information progresses clearly from historical changes to forecasts, and cohesive links make the relationships easy to follow despite the single-paragraph presentation.
Use distinct paragraphs for the overview and grouped detail to make the strong comparison structure immediately visible.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise range of trend and comparison vocabulary conveys the data naturally, with only minor informality in describing manufacturing as the big loser.
Maintain a consistently formal register by replacing conversational labels with objective descriptions of the steepest decline.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are used with strong control, and the few slips, such as the article in a continued growth, do not impede meaning.
Refine article use with uncountable trend nouns and proofread capitalization of proper nouns.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar chart below illustrates five different industries’ percentage share of Brazil’s economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.