The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry.
Sample Response
The diagram illustrates the brick manufacturing process in a clear sequencein an orderly manner starting from the digging of clay. OverallAs is seen in the given illustration, brick manufacturing is a complex process and involves 7 stages until they are ready to be sold in the market. The process is initiated by digging clay with the help of a mechanical diggera heavy machinery digger. This clay is then refined through the metal grid which feeds the clay onto a rollerthrows the refined clay on the rollers. Sand and water are mixed and this mixture is either moulded or cut using a wire cutter to form the raw bricksgive the bricks a raw shape. These bricks are put in a drying oven for one to two days. The dried bricks are then passed to kilns at moderate (200–980°C) and then high (870–1300°C) temperatureswith moderate (200 to 980 degree C) and high temperature (870 to 1300 degree C) and finally placed in a cooling chamber for 48-72 hours. After cooling down the bricks, they are placed on a pallet for packaging and to be loaded on a lorry for delivery. In conclusion, the process of manufacturing bricks is a complex process which passes through several stages before the bricks are ready to be used.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response accurately follows the full manufacturing sequence and uses precise stage details, including timings and kiln temperatures. Its main limitation is presentation: the overview is somewhat repetitive and the entire report reads as one continuous block, which weakens the distinction between summary and detail. Prioritise a sharper overview of the linear process and divide the stages into logically grouped paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report accurately covers the complete process, both shaping alternatives, the two heating ranges, cooling, packaging, and delivery.
Make the overview more selective by highlighting the linear start-to-finish sequence and the alternative moulding or cutting stage without repeating the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The stages progress in a clear chronological order, but the single-block presentation and repetitive closing summary reduce structural clarity.
Separate the overview from two detail paragraphs that group the preparation stages and the heating-to-delivery stages.
Lexical Resource
Process vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with effective terms such as refined, moulded, kiln, and cooling chamber.
Refine awkward collocations such as heavy machinery digger and passed to kilns with moderate and high temperature.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of simple and complex structures is used with generally secure control and only occasional non-impeding errors.
Improve noun phrase and agreement control in expressions describing machinery and the two kiln temperatures.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.