The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry.
Sample Response
The given diagram shows different stages of brick manufacturing for the building industryindustries. Generally speaking, brick production involves seven stages7 steps, starting from the digging stagestages and ending at the delivery stage. As shown in the diagramAs is given in the graph, the first step of brick manufacturing is excavating claydigging the clay with a large digger. This clay is then passed through a metal gridfiltered and crushed by a rollerprocessed in a roller machine and then mixed with sand and water. In the third stage, the mixture is either shapedkept in a mould or cut within a wire cutter to make the raw bricksraw shape of the bricks. In the next step, the shaped raw bricks are dried for 24 to 48 hours in a drying oven. After that, the dried raw bricks are kept in a kiln, at moderate and then high temperaturesboth in moderate and high temperature, up to 1,300 degrees Celsius1300 degree centigrade and then placed in a cooling chamber for about 48 to 72 hours. This process prepares the bricks for packagingmakes the brick to be packed and delivered in the final two steps. The delivery process is the final process of brick manufacturing and as it is noted, brick making is a moderately complex process that requires some defined stagespredefined works to make it usable.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response clearly follows the process from clay extraction to delivery and includes the alternative shaping methods, drying and cooling durations, and the two-stage firing. Its main weakness is imprecision: the moulding description is awkward, the two firing ranges are not clearly distinguished, and the final generalization adds little. The priority is to report each stage with exact technical details and more natural process language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All major stages are covered in the correct order, but some process details, especially the kiln temperatures and shaping methods, lack precision.
Specify the moderate and high firing ranges separately and describe the mould and wire cutter as alternative ways of shaping the mixture.
Coherence and Cohesion
The sequence is easy to follow through appropriate stage markers, though repetition and the unnecessary closing comment slightly weaken the progression.
Group the process into preparation, heating, and finishing stages and end directly after packaging and delivery.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of process vocabulary, but several collocations such as 'kept in a mould' and 'predefined works' are unnatural.
Use precise forms such as 'shaped in a mould,' 'cut with a wire cutter,' 'fired in a kiln,' and 'packaged for delivery.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied structures and passive forms, but recurring errors with number, articles, prepositions, and complementation reduce accuracy.
Correct constructions such as 'at moderate and high temperatures,' 'degrees Celsius,' and 'allows the bricks to be packaged.'
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.