The graph below shows the different home activities among young children in four different countries.
Sample Response
The bar chart shows data on young children's indoor activities in Malaysia, China, Nigeria and Sudan.
OverallAs is obvious, playing computer games is the most popular leisure activity among children in these countries, and reading books is less common among Nigerian and Sudanese children. DeleteInterestingly, watching TV is the second most popular pastime and equally preferred by children in all four countriesall these four countries. As the diagram suggests, computer games are the most popular activity in all four countriesquite popular among children in these countries withas half of the children in Malaysia and Sudan play computer games. The ratio of children involved in this activity in Nigeria is even higher while four in ten childrenoffsprings in China play computer games. Watching TV programmes is another preferred home activity among youngsters as 30% of children in these countries watch televisionfollow TV at homewhen they are home. Board games are playedpicked up by exactlyalmost a quarter of the childrenboys and girls in Malaysia and China while they are most popularit is most popular in Sudan with 30% participation30% active participants in this activity. Finally, reading is not as common as other indoor activities are and the highest proportion of child readers is in Malaysia, at 20%the highest ratio of child readers reside in Malaysia, 20%. Only 10% Nigerian and Sudanese children read books when home and this ratio is 15% in China.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response provides an accurate overview and supports it with well-selected figures for all four activities and countries, making the main comparisons easy to follow. The main limitation is occasional awkward or inaccurate wording, such as 'offsprings,' 'follow TV,' and a ratio that 'reside' in Malaysia, together with a few grammatical slips. The priority is to retain the strong data selection while using more natural statistical expressions and tighter comparative sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview identifies the dominant and least common activities, and almost all key figures and comparisons are reported accurately.
Strengthen the detail by explicitly including Nigeria's board-game figure and highlighting the closest cross-country contrasts.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically sequenced from overview to activity-by-activity detail, with cohesive comparisons despite some repetition.
Group related comparisons more compactly and vary references to children and countries to reduce repetition.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, but a few unnatural choices and word-form errors reduce flexibility and accuracy.
Use natural statistical phrases such as watch television, children, accounted for, and the proportion was highest in Malaysia.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence forms is used with good control, while a small number of agreement and noun-phrase errors remain.
Check agreement after expressions such as 'the highest proportion' and use '10% of Nigerian and Sudanese children' for accurate noun phrases.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the different home activities among young children in four different countries.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.