The graph below shows the number of hours per day on average that children spent watching television between 1950 and 2010.
Sample Response
The render bar chart enumerates how many average hours children spend watching television per day from 1950 to 2010.
Overall, it is crystal clear that in the starting time period watching TV hours was the least although, it rose year by year.
In 1950, per day watching television hours for children was under a half-hour, it surged later, and it took 15 years to reach 1 hour per day. After 1965, television viewingviewing television became common for children; thus, viewing time increasedhours grew dramatically. Between 1965 and 1980, it rosewas from 1 hour per day to 4 hours per day which was four times the 1965 figurewhich was fourfold that it was three decades ago.
Television viewing timeHours of watching TV remained approximately the sameremain same in 1980 and in 1990 but between those yearsbut, between that, it reached a low pointtouched dip point aton account of 3 hours and 45 minutesminutes roughly. It declined slightly by about half an hourby a half-hour in the next two decades. However, around 1995in 1992, viewing timehours was at its peakon the zenith, over 4 hours.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its chronological structure, which identifies the steep rise to around four hours and the later fluctuation. Its main limitation is an incomplete and partly inaccurate account of the visual, including the claim of a year-by-year rise and the incorrect date for the peak. The highest-priority improvement is to state the full overall pattern accurately, then support it with correctly dated figures in simpler, more precise language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response reports several important stages and includes an overview, but it inaccurately suggests continuous growth and misdates the highest point.
State that viewing rose sharply to about four hours, peaked at just over four around 1995, and then fell to roughly three and a half by 2010.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraph sequence follows the chart chronologically, though faulty connectors, punctuation, and unclear references sometimes disrupt the flow.
Use straightforward chronological links and ensure each pronoun or comparison clearly refers to a stated year or figure.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts varied trend vocabulary, but frequent miscollocations such as render bar chart, touched dip point, and on the zenith sound unnatural.
Prefer precise standard graph language such as line graph, dipped to, peaked at, remained stable, and declined gradually.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is some variety in sentence structure, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, clause construction, and punctuation reduce accuracy and clarity.
Build shorter complete sentences with one main comparison each, then check verb tense and subject-verb agreement consistently.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the number of hours per day on average that children spent watching television between 1950 and 2010.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.