The bar chart shows the distribution of employment among agriculture, services, industries in three countries in 1980 and projected distribution in 2020.
Sample Response
The given bar charts compare the employment sharesproportions of people working in three sectors (agriculture, industry, and services)(Agriculture, Industry, and Services) in three countries in 1980, along with projections for 2020predicted changes in 2020.
Overall, the charts show thatit can be seen that services were the largest employment sector in countries A and Cmain source of employment for people in countries A and C, while agriculture was the largest employment sector in country Bmain area of employment in country B. Additionally, despite some slight variations, there are no predicted changes in the overall trends of these countries’ employment distribution.
In 1980, the main source of jobs in countries A and C was services, at approximately 45% and 65%, followed by industry, at 30% and 35% respectively. Jobs in agriculture accounted for the smallest percentage of the workforce in both countries, at around 20% and 5% respectively. Both countries are projected to experienceBoth countries are expected to see a decrease in industry-related jobsindustry related jobs and a rise in service-sector jobsservice jobs by 2020.
Country B, on the other hand, had the largest share of employment in agriculturesaw the largest percentage of jobs in agriculture, at approximately 5570%, followed by services and industry, at approximately 2535% and 20% respectively. It is predicted that agriculture is projected to remain the largest sector in country Btrends will also remain the same in country B, with a decrease of about 7 percentage pointsan approximate 15% decrease in agricultural employmentagriculture jobs.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is well organised, fluent, and supported by a clear overview that correctly identifies the dominant employment sectors in all three countries. The main weakness is the uneven treatment of the projected data, alongside substantial inaccuracies for Country B in 1980 and its predicted agricultural decline. Prioritise checking those figures and adding the key 2020 proportions so that the otherwise strong comparison is complete and reliable.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview selects the main patterns accurately, but projected figures are underdeveloped and several Country B values and changes are substantially inaccurate.
Verify Country B against the chart and include representative 2020 figures for all three countries to support the overview fully.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is sequenced logically in focused paragraphs, with clear comparisons and natural progression throughout.
Make the 1980-to-2020 comparison even more direct by pairing each current figure with its projection within the same sentence.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and precise for employment data, with only minor repetition and occasional awkward wording.
Vary repeated expressions such as main source of jobs and use consistently precise forms such as industry-related employment.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used accurately, and the few minor errors do not impede communication.
Refine tense consistency when moving between 1980 observations and 2020 projections.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar chart shows the distribution of employment among agriculture, services, industries in three countries in 1980 and projected distribution in 2020.
Your response
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