The Diagram Below gives information about the Hawaiian Islands chain in the centre of the Pacific Ocean.
Sample Response
The picture depicts information about the Hawaiian Islands chain, situated in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
Overall, the Hawaiian island is the largest of the eight major islands shownthe largest among the Islands of the Pacific Ocean, and the chain contains volcanoes of different agescomprising some ancient volcanoes. However, the movement of tectonic plates towards the northwestto the western side of the Ocean each year creates successive volcanoes above the fixed hot spotcauses several volcanic activities.
The Hawaiian island is the largest among the eight islands of the Pacific Ocean, with some tiny islands such as Nihau also being found in the Ocean. The Pacific Ocean experiences tectonic plate movement drifting apart around 7 to 9cm each year. This has resulted in many volcanoes being formed in one of the major islands, the Hawaiian Islands.
As illustrated in the diagram, the Hawaiian island chain has experiencedHawaiian Island had suffered successivemajor volcanic eruptions, with the oldest dating back about 80 million yearsdating back some 80million years ago. The eruption process beginsThe volcanic eruption process begins to form about 2,883 km belowsome 2883km below the solid, dense rock. Eventually, a magma plume risesa spume is formed, which remains stationary above the hot spotremains immobile on the Hot spot. As the Pacific plate driftsUntil tectonic plates drift to the northwestnorth-western angle of the ocean some 7 to 9 centimetres, magma rises throughmagma spume flows through the solid, dense rock, creating another volcanoinitiating another volcanic activity.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response is clearly organised and communicates the basic relationship between plate movement, the stationary hot spot, and volcanic formation. Its main limitation is Task Achievement: it misplaces the oldest volcano on Hawaii, describes the plate as drifting apart or westward rather than shifting northwest, and does not clearly explain that island age increases away from the youngest volcano. Prioritise an accurate overview of this sequence before adding details.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies the plate, hot spot, magma plume, movement rate, and depth, but its overview and several details misrepresent the chain's formation and age pattern.
State that the Pacific plate shifts northwest 7–9 cm annually over a fixed hot spot, creating the youngest volcano at Hawaii and progressively older volcanoes to the northwest.
Coherence and Cohesion
Four purposeful paragraphs and clear sequencing make the description easy to follow, although repetition and an awkward final sequence weaken progression.
Organise the details as one continuous cause-and-effect sequence and avoid repeating the claim that Hawaii is the largest island.
Lexical Resource
Relevant geological vocabulary is attempted, but imprecise or unnatural choices such as “volcanic activities,” “drifting apart,” and “north-western angle” reduce accuracy.
Use precise process terms such as “plate shifts,” “magma plume rises,” “eruption occurs,” and “island chain forms.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a mixture of simple and complex structures, but recurring article, agreement, tense, and clause-control errors reduce grammatical reliability.
Check subject–verb agreement and construct time clauses completely, especially when describing what happens as the plate moves over the hot spot.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The Diagram Below gives information about the Hawaiian Islands chain in the centre of the Pacific Ocean.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.