The chart below shows information about the challenges people face when they go to live in other countries.
Sample Response
The bar chartsupplied graph represents data on the challenges people face when they start living in a different country and compares these challenges across different age groupscompares this data based on different age groups. As is presented in the graph, younger people struggle to make new friends while people over 55 have difficulty learningthe aged people face difficulty to learn the local language in a new country. As is given in the graph, people aged 18–34people from 18-34 years old find it most difficult to make new friends when they start living in a new country. Their second greatest challenge isThe second most challenging issue they face is the issue of finding somewhere to livefinding a living place. Learning the local language is another problem they face but this is the least common challenge for this age groupthis is least among the people of this age group. Turning toSecondly, among people aged 35–54among the 35-54 age group, people who go to live in a different country find it most difficult to find places to live. About 36% of people find it difficult to find places to live in while about 35-36% of people find it difficult to learn the local language and to make friends there. Finally, people aged over 55 findthe aged people who are over 55 years old, find it more difficulty learning the language than any other age groupmost difficult to learn the language than any other age group. Approximately 54% of people over 55Approximately 54% of aged people face this challenge when they start living in a new country. Among this age group, 22% of people face the problem of finding somewhere to liveliving place issue while 23% find it hard to make new friends. Overall, people over 55In summary, aged people can make friends more easily than the young age group when they start living in a new country while younger people findyoung population finds it easier to learn the localloan language than the aged people in a new country.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its broad coverage: it identifies the principal challenge for each age group and accurately reports nearly all key percentages. The main limitation is presentation, as the entire report forms one long paragraph and repeats several phrases, while the 35–54 accommodation figure is understated. Prioritise a concise overview followed by separate age-group comparisons, with every percentage checked directly against the chart.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main age-group contrasts and most figures are accurately reported, although accommodation for the 35–54 group is about 39%, not 36%.
Retain the clear overview but verify each percentage and compare the sharp rise in language difficulty with the decline in friendship difficulty across age groups.
Coherence and Cohesion
The age-by-age sequence is logical and signposting is clear, but the single long paragraph and repeated framing reduce cohesion and readability.
Separate the introduction and overview from distinct detail paragraphs, grouping the youngest and middle groups before contrasting them with those over 55.
Lexical Resource
The response has sufficient vocabulary for describing challenges and comparisons, but repetition and awkward choices such as “aged people,” “living place,” and “loan language” weaken precision.
Use precise alternatives such as older people, finding accommodation, and learning the local language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied clauses and generally communicates clearly, but errors in comparison structures, articles, prepositions, and punctuation recur.
Revise structures such as “people aged 18–34,” “difficulty learning,” and “more difficult than,” and avoid unnecessary commas between subjects and verbs.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows information about the challenges people face when they go to live in other countries.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.