The table shows the percentage of people with mobile phones who use various features on their phones.
Sample Response
The tablebar chart illustrates the proportion of mobile users who utilize the various featurescharacters of their mobile phoneselectronic gadgets.
Overall, it is immediately apparent from the chart that the feature of making calls was immensely used by the people in three years, while there was no data found of the individual who used Phones for Internet and recording video purpose.
In detail, 100% of mobile holders used their phones to make calls in 2006, and this figure remained unchangedamount remained untouched after two years, but this value declined by one percentage pointdeclined by 1% in 2010. Followingfollowing this, people utilized the feature of taking photos on their mobile gadgets, with a share of 66%with shares at 66% in 2006, and this figure rose by five percentage pointsamount surged by 5% after two years. DeleteSurprisingly, 76% of people used mobileelectronic phones to capture images in 2010. Moreovermoreover, in 2006, 73% of individuals sent and received text messages on their phones, and this value increasedinclined to 79% after four years.
Furthermore, some people who played games on their smartphones began at 17%, and this number skyrocketed to 42% in 2008. it is interesting to note that those people who use their phones for the Internet had no data found in 2006, but after two years, this value was recorded at 41% and gradually shot up to 73% in 2010. Moreovermoreover, 12% of individuals used their mobile phones for music in 2006, and this ratio increasedinclined to 18% in 2008. Finallyfinally, 26% of people listened to music on their smartphones in 2010.smartphones in 2010
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response reports many figures accurately and follows a workable time-based progression, especially for calls, photos, internet use, and music. However, the overview is misleading about missing data, record-video figures are omitted entirely, and several descriptions use unnatural or inaccurate vocabulary. Prioritize identifying the full set of major trends from the table before drafting, then describe them with precise feature names and controlled comparative language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Many figures are reported accurately, but the overview misrepresents the missing data, the record-video series is omitted, and the slight fall in gaming is not covered.
Write an overview of the broad rises and stable call use, then include the important emergence and growth of video recording.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and chronological progression are understandable, but the detail paragraphs become list-like and transitions are repetitive.
Group features by similar trends and use fewer, more purposeful linking expressions to strengthen comparisons.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts varied language for trends, but frequent inappropriate choices such as 'characters', 'inclined', and 'amount' weaken precision.
Use accurate table vocabulary and standard trend verbs such as features, percentage, rose, fell, and remained stable.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is some complex sentence use, but frequent agreement, capitalization, clause-structure, and punctuation errors reduce control.
Write shorter controlled sentences, ensure each sentence starts with a capital letter, and check that each subject matches its verb.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table shows the percentage of people with mobile phones who use various features on their phones.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.